Conversations about COPD (Darkness & Missing Hope)

IN Dark Night of the Soul
Conversations about COPD
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AJ, April 11, 2014

I really need to post this as recently some users have tried to criticize me openly here in this group, and privately. I just want others to know that I am serious, and will not acquiesce to any amount of bullying. If you wish to debate anything I am saying or have any questions as to my condition or my history, please send me a private message so that we can discuss whatever concerns you may have, and hopefully arrive at an amicable understanding.

I say:

In all honesty, I am not here to fight, my battle is with emphysema, and we should be allies in this regard.

From what I can see, no one else has once mentioned tai chi, or meditation as part of their therapy, which gives me a great deal of hope, as it helps me to think that I can help create a powerful system whereby others can affectively reverse their condition and heal themselves.

I am familiar with the mainstream medical opinions and have read and studied as much as I can. No where have I read that emphysema can be cured, but this does not dissuade me.

I am reminded of how history is a perfect example of how knowledge improves and perceptions change. Take for example early astronomers who used to think the world was flat, or that the sun rotated around the earth. Over and over again, history provides us with examples of how little we know, and how quickly knowledge changes.

I am fervently trying to change our perceptions of this disease, and all disease, and strongly believe that anything is possible.

I am not saying that this will be an overnight effect or that it is easy. All I am saying is that I am engaged, fully, in this idea, and will do everything in my power to work towards my goal, and, to defend this concept against corrupt forms of thinking that may cause others to have limits in their own thoughts.

Penny Butler April 11, 2014

Hi AJ, you’ll notice a lot of posts in this group from me too earlier, as I was finding ways to ‘cure’ myself, but as I posted, I realized that there are not many in here that want to hear about healing – they are looking to ‘cope’. A lot seem to just want somewhere to be with others that understand what they are currently going through but are not yet ready to change anything (or even have the realization that they can alleviate their symptoms, I think due to both medical professionals and what they have been told by people they trust more than strangers from the internet).

There are posts in here about reversal, regrowing alveoli, diet, spiritual, lifestyle, toxins, exercise, mindset, breathing techniques, but people don’t ‘notice’ them if they are not looking for solutions (or if they already believe there isn’t any) they skip right past them.

For the last few months, I haven’t been posting in here because it started becoming an uphill ‘battle’ (basically, this group was becoming ‘murky’ for me lol – life is awesome right now, and I felt ‘pulled down’ by the negativity and darkness in here) (sorry if this offends people, maybe I should remove it, and I might.. but yeah.. there was seemingly no positive energy, or hope, it was just overwhelmingly ‘80% bleh’) except for those who were quitting smoking and celebrating their wins or the occasional funny… I wasn’t able to connect to the old version of myself.

When I first joined, I was also in the ‘bleh” stage, depressed, dark, no hope, full of blame, guilt and anger. When I changed, I expected others to change too once they found out what had worked for me, that’s not how it works though, everyone is on their own journey, some are on the journey to health, others have already given up, and some are yet to discover just how much power they have.

I used to have a great surge of wanting to help people in here, as I was clearing up, as I was noticing myself not even think about emphysema anymore, and I was so.. like.. “these people need to know, I need to help them.. its so important that they know this- they don’t have to die.. they can be *saved*… but now I realize that all I can do is be the example, and when they are ready (if they still have a seed of hope inside them), they too will discover the same knowledge that healed me & others.

There are too many people here that are still in darkness, fighting for their lives, but not willing (or ready) to do what needs to be done to begin to repair. Noone could’ve reached me when I was in my darkness, and I don’t expect now that I can reach those that are where I once was. It will happen when they are ready and not a moment before.

I hope you succeed at staying engaged and not being effected by the mood/conflicting beliefs in here of people who don’t yet have any hope. The nay-sayers and the negative judgements. They feel sorry for me or angry with me living in this apparently delusional idea that we can be cured, and I feel a great deal of empathy for them, that they think the only way out is to die a slow, horrifying death, or managed/dependent upon medication for the rest of their lives.

I think this group can be used the way that it’s already being used, that the members can continue to just be surrounded by people who understand what they are going through and support them that way.

I don’t know if this group can be what it was intended as from Greg – a way to share natural methods of healing… to celebrate our wins, to share our journey back to health…

… but I love that you are enthusiastic like I once was of trying, maybe it will help turn it around. There are at least 5 people in here that are continually researching, but I’ve noticed even they have stopped posting lately. If you succeed, you might be able to stir it back up in us as well :) maybe we need someone like you to get back to sharing hope… by sharing what we were like before compared to what we are like now, but we are just ‘strangers on the internet’.

Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone – there are definitely people among you that believe there is a cure and no longer have any emphysema ‘symptoms’, even after being on their death bed. But we had to change our mindset, and you can’t change other people’s minds (no more than we can change yours) – they have to become aware themselves, in their own time, in their own way. And COPD peeps are kinda stubborn (myself included), we like to learn & discover things for ourselves, so there is no ‘telling’, only sharing or responding to those who directly ask the questions. Sharing when the help hasn’t been ‘requested’, doesn’t seem to work so well in here :)

Good luck, and keep it up, or contact me privately to chat about tai chi, meditation, superfoods, extreme health methods, and energy :)

…but never about disease :) I don’t ‘own’ this disease anymore; it is not mine. They were just symptoms I had once upon a time, and although I continue to research anything towards health, towards cell repair so that I can help others find the journey to health when they are searching for it (which does include the things you have already mentioned, as well as energy healing and the mindset journey).. a new spiritual journey was revealed to me after the darkness had lifted. Step-by-step this journey has become more powerful than I had ever imagined. I am very grateful for this experience, but it no longer controls or defines who I am. I’m no longer ‘Penny – the dying girl with emphysema’… I’m an empowered ‘Penny – on a journey to a better life’.


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Penny... on Health
Penny... on Health

Truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper, ever trying to 'figure it out'. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, & random points of interests.

DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is not medical science or medical advice. I do not have any medical training aside from my own research and interest in this area. The information I publish is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, disorder, pain, injury, deformity, or physical or mental condition. I just report my own results, understanding & research.