Journey to a Better Life…
Hi, my name is Penny – an ever-curious being, always asking why, digging deeper, & ever-discovering more about life, reality, the universe within us, and the universe we live in. I’m happiest when I’m researching and learning new things that make me think differently. My passion is ‘accelerated learning’ with a special interest in living an optimal life including health, mindset and happiness. I’m a truth-seeker: ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and further and deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, express myself & share ideas whilst providing a searchable archive to easily lookup, reflect back on and reference.
Have you ever wanted a place where you could speak your truth … from the place where you are at now, in this moment, and allow yourself to evolve and speak your truth tomorrow, even if it is different than yesterday?
This website is that sacred place for me.
A place to Evolve. Rant. Rejoice. Learn. Share.
If I learn something new that I think is helpful to healing or to living a better life, then I’ll share it now. Tomorrow I might learn something that makes even more sense to me, and a new belief is formed, that may even completely contradict the truth that I spoke yesterday, but it is my new belief now and I’ll share it as my current truth.
Next week, the missing part of the puzzle may appear, and the 2 seemingly opposite beliefs may all of a sudden make even more sense. The mysterious wonder of life, the beautiful experience of keeping myself open rather than holding onto beliefs that no longer fit, living consciously, letting go, allowing myself to learn, grow, and ever-teaching me new understandings.
One of the best lessons I’ve learnt over the past year of rediscovering myself is that I’m happiest when I’m living in the now… 100% present in the “now”… speaking my truth, as it currently is “at this precise moment”, and not worrying about being proven “wrong” tomorrow or looking a little foolish. Allowing myself to accept and appreciate exactly where I am, at this moment right now… at this stage of life right now… it has been such a freeing experience. One that “right now” *smile* I do not want to let go of, because I am really enjoying the process, and it’s a joy to be present. I never realized how much pain & damage I was doing to myself by living in the imagined future and running away from the dead past. I don’t know when I ‘switched’ to being present, but it’s a new awakening (sometime in the past couple of months), and now that I am, it’s pure joy to be here.
I see you. I experience relationships with other people better, and the relationship with myself better.
I allow myself to be a little bit “nuts” to the world, and just say the things that I would normally “keep inside”, in order to help me become, discover, develop & experience who I am. To not dissipate the ‘weird’ writings in my minds’ wall, but rather to allow it to flow out… so that I can see it from a new angle, or just to allow it to be ‘spoken’ – to make sense of another day, or to ‘let it go’ to make some room for new thoughts.
Sometimes when I write a post.. and read it again a few days/weeks later, I think, woah – that came out pretty harsh or little bit wacky – that is not how it sounded in my head! :) But it’s “out” now, and by getting it “out”, it allows me to flow on to something else, it frees up & clears my mind to be able to move onto the next discovery, and sometimes it allows me to try and process what was going on in my head at that moment in time and what I can learn from it, how I can grow from it.
This sense of freedom has healed me and helped me grow so much. It has helped me not worry so much about tomorrow, and not hold onto so much about yesterday. To just live right now, free to be me, current flaws & all.
So many beliefs have been debunked, stretched, and awakened this past year. And I’m certain there is much more to come. The person I was even a few short months ago, is a completely different person than who I am right now. I am growing and experiencing in ‘real time’, the miracle of living as a conscious being, of seperating myself from the person I ‘wanted’ people to see, to becoming – to ‘being’ myself & at the same time watching myself and learning; ever-learning.
Things that were very important to me 12 months ago, are not even a glimmer of importance now. Are not even a whisper. Things that worried me 12 months ago, do not worry me now. Things that I feared 12 months ago, I no longer fear.
If you’ve ever wanted to experience that freedom, I highly recommend starting with a personal journal or blog. For me, having a public blog, has helped me the most because it exposes my flaws to the world which was one of my previous “greatest fears”. I used to always worry about what other people thought of me, and maybe that fear is still in there somewhere but I just haven’t felt it in the past few months. I’ve had that fear as long as I can remember, so it must’ve started in early childhood. To try and make everyone happy, to try and always be right and wanting to have all the answers. I used to be a perfectionist, and look where it got me, I nearly destroyed myself. I “broke”. But I am well on my way to healing & rebuilding what I broke. Never could I have imagined that losing everything would be the best thing that ever happened to me, but here I am, starting anew, fresh, & like a child again – seeing the world through new eyes, and on my way to becoming a better person than I ever was.
The mindset switch was the biggest change in the past year; allowing myself the freedom to express thoughts that were always held deep, hidden under the surface, & even with a “cloudy-brain”, I just allowed myself to start writing without fear of being “wrong”. I no longer look at my flaws or imperfections as something to scold or stress about. Now I accept myself for who I am. A person on a journey. The journey of life. Learning, loving, feeling, expressing, questioning the world around me, and expressing my wonder about life.
Instead of getting angry at myself for not being perfect or for not having all the answers yet, I am truly happy where I am right now. I can’t be anymore than who I currently am. I am, right now, exactly where I should be, and who I should be, because this is where I am… I can’t change the past, nor foresee the future. I don’t know why all those things happened to me, but I don’t really need to, they happened and my path was changed, and it’s because they happened that I am on this new and exciting journey that I am on right now.
Life feels more real now, has more meaning and purpose. It’s like I was stuck behind a dark cloud and now I’m open to serving whatever feels right at this time.
I am not perfect and that’s absolutely fine. My imperfections will lead me to new discoveries, to asking more questions, and to seeking & finding more answers, and this is always how I’ve wanted to live my life. I just didn’t know it with such clarity before.
Friendships have changed too. Those who are not aligned with my new beliefs, they have just sort of disappeared, and I’m developing new relationships with people who are on their own journey to a better life.
Every now and then something reminds me of my old life, but something doesn’t feel right… it doesn’t feel like me, and now I make choices based on what feels good. Not doing things just to please or impress others, but doing things because it feels like the right thing to do. And while I’m moving towards what feels “right” for me, life is a lot less stressful, a lot easier, and I’m happier. And surprisingly (considering who I ‘used to be’), I’m not disappointed with the seemingly slow progression of my goals, but rather living in the now and ‘enjoying the ride’, because the lessons I am learning and the feelings that I’m experiencing, are more rich and meaningful and I don’t want to “rush” through it, I want to live it.
So… crazy or not… I’m becoming who I am, and on my own journey to a better life, and invite you to do the same, to experience the freeing feeling of discovering who you really are. Whatever journey you are on, if you resonate with some of my ramblings.. and want to share some of your own hidden thoughts… to live your truth as it is today and have the freedom to change your mind tomorrow.. then I welcome you to join in on the conversation.
Best places to Connect with me is via Facebook & YouTube:
This “About page” has changed, because I’ve grown & changed. Sometimes I might want to reflect back on just how much the past 12 months have changed my thinking, and so I’ve left up my old (Jan 2013) page up here: