Journey

I find it ironic that I’m staring at a blank sheet of paper wanting to write about analysis paralysis and my mind is wandering and going elsewhere. Listening to the traffic in the distance, the aircraft overhead, a truck with it’s engine break on, a cat meowing nearby somewhere out of sight. The sun just moved behind the clouds. Analysis paralysis – my main problem and maybe other people’s as well, but I am taking baby-steps to overcome this issue. I setup a Kanban board, purchased some cute sticky notes and coloured index cards, and started participating in an online challenge to re-wire my brain to “forward momentum” and tapping into what I want to achieve, instead of just doing anything and getting lost in the sea of “everywhere else”.

Kanban board concept:

  I’ve wanted to have an online business again because it will give me guilt-free freedom to do what I want with my time and life. And I don’t want to go to a job that I don’t relate to, or feel pressured to go against whatever feels more “right” and in alignment to me. I also see it (having an online business) as a solution for everyone – people who are ‘too sick to work’, who are not happy with the daily grind, who may be stressed, depressed, physically or mentally burnt-out, suffering any kind of trauma or toxic situation, and having to ‘stay in harms way’ or ‘survival mode’ because of financial issues. Staying in accommodation surrounded by ice-addicts because it’s affordable, or staying in a dependant-relationship that shuts you down, or in countries with the threat of death/war or experiencing extreme poverty, or not being able to do things for yourself or loved ones. Having the freedom to work from your laptop so you can take off on holiday or travel or stay in your pj’s or take care of your kids or do any of the things that are more important to you in this short-stay on earth other than having to keep-up with the ever-pressuring system of control and slavery. Freedom over your time to learn things that interest you or meet people who enliven your life.

I know my “why”.

But executing the “how” is where I get stuck. Which market to pick, whether I’m expert enough, having no followers, lack of trust in myself and others, fear of wasting money or time / effort on something that might not work as I’ve done countless times. I think having an Accountability or Buddy-system is the answer. Micro-challenges. Baby-steps / forward-momentum and self-responsibility. So I’ve redesigned my business based on my own “problem-with-gaining-forward-momentum” –  because I personally need micro-challenges to get ‘unstuck’ and I believe others can also benefit from mini-challenges that retrain our brain to step into our preferred lives. I believe we experience this life in different densities, frequencies, and vibrations. I had a spiritual awakening a few years ago and it’s been a long journey to trust any kind of truth after everything I thought I knew about the world was shifted and fragmented. My awakening shook my entire life up. I lost my business, home, belongings, relationship, “reputation in the world”, health, ego, drive and trust. I don’t have the same outlook as most others who have had an awakening – in that, their ‘certainty’ about what is truth hasn’t yet “dropped in” for me. I live in the void between the mainstream views I grew up with, and a new world where everything is different. It’s like seeing the world through multiple lenses at the same time. But … and this is relevant to my analysis paralysis problem… my invisible ‘nudges’ from the universe are an “always” part of my life.

I see life’s challenges as catalysts to change-for-the-better.

Basically I see any current resistance, fears, concerns, irks, problems, worries, etc. as “opportunities to improve-upon my existing now”. So my current financial situation being a concern for me, is a sign that I need to master my finances and manifest abundance.

I experience life through frequency.

I don’t really have the words to explain this in the way that my ‘being’ experiences it. But, I feel the truth of it. So when I went through my awakening, I experienced a bliss and love and oneness with this world that I’d never experienced before, an extremely high-vibration that sees this world as perfect – as heaven. But it was short-lived, like a ‘taster’ or tease to my soul of what is possible here, and it wasn’t long before my ‘unresolved’ lower-vibrations – in-completions, old wounds, old thoughts, fears, and lower-frequency beliefs stepped in and I shifted realities again to the darkest period I’ve ever experienced. This fire-and-brimstone to re-balancing my entire being experience has been a tiny-shift by tiny-shift exploration of every possible “dent” in my system caused by a lifetime of beliefs that needing re-wiring and re-balancing as I looked at reality through completely different eyes. So to explain that I experience life through frequency is the closest I can get to understanding the reality I navigate in. I couldn’t stay in a raised vibration with outdated, negative, unresolved issues, and I had to really dig-deep into my entire being to resolve, repair and balance myself again. Knowing that ‘new earth’ (a term used for those who have experienced it) is possible – is already available from a higher density which is happening right now simultaneously and is the space that our higher/future-selves already experience, yet also recognizing and being accountable for where you are currently at, living in the nowness of the reality you have created – the choices you’ve made and the options you have available, what are you experiencing from the density you are on and how can you level-up from here. What are you learning here from where this version of you is conscious of – and then balancing and ‘getting the lesson’ – basically levelling-up from wherever you are through being totally honest with yourself and seeing whatever situation you encounter as a catalyst for self-mastery. That our human “3d” version of ourselves, is here to learn from this experience, to level-up / to ascend. That our higher-selves – our future selves – our ‘voice of reason’ – our .. ‘higher octave’ consciousness is ever-present in our lives, of which we can choose to adhere to the guidance (that which feels aligned), or ignore our heart’s GPS and experience more severe catalyst-opportunities. Anyway, I digress. I had a life that was so tapped-into “solutions”, that there wasn’t anything you couldn’t throw at me that I couldn’t solve. It was an expansiveness and not unlike being fully-connected to the infinite-data of the universe. After I fell into the darkness, I couldn’t tap back into that data. It was like experiencing the world from a blank-dumbfounded state. Firstly experiencing some kind of “psychosis” stage where I didn’t understand anything about reality or how to navigate my daily-life, and then slipping into a deep depression and state-of-fear/trauma that really slowed-down/halted all my plans and progress and dreams to just try and get.. into some kind of safe-state of being. I had major brain-fog, no memory-recall of so many tips and techniques and so-called ‘wisdom’ that I used to think I had. I lost momentum, I didn’t trust my own intuition anymore, and I’ve been on the search for truth ever since, and focusing mostly on getting grounded, balanced, and being easy-going and at peace within my own being. Aside from actively seeking ways to balance wherever I’m at, and being radically honest about anything that was sub-par to my own delusions about who I was, I started to noticably see and understand the frequency changes within and how that affects my own experience of the “external”. And I started to observe and understand more experientially that this reality is an inside journey to self-mastery. We are shaped by our catalysts. The self-growth we get – the wood that is carved – the “levelling-up” is from that which nudges and pushes. And to discern that it’s not what the world told us it was – like, it’s not a society-approval type of levelling-up. It’s not an ego-materialistic-financial levelling-up. It’s a rising-up and balancing (grounding ourselves) in the newer higher frequencies to experience different layers of this density, ever on a pathway to the next. We are always on the bottom of some mountain to conquer. There’s infinite layers and exploration that entails the … living-through – the exploration – and the higher-octave viewpoints we gain from the experience. One of the things I really have always felt a pull-towards, that I was somehow here to help others with, is getting an online source of income. Having had so many online passive income sites in the past before I deleted them all when I went through my “none of it matters” phase, I again want others to experience the liberation of not having to stay in situations where they stay stuck in the lower frequencies. I do see it as a pathway for people to experience higher-density living. The problem is … having all this knowledge, yet also having the doubts and lack of trust in myself, and some internal blockage that is stopping me from stepping into this role. I know that analysis paralysis can be resolved with forward-movement. Any kind of forward-movement. Retraining the brain to ever be leaning towards levelling-up. Baby steps. Micro-steps. Discipline. So for an overweight person, that might mean replacing one soda with a glass of water each day, or starting with one push-up a day, or going for a 5 minute walk. A micro-step towards self-mastery. A person experiencing trauma from their partner, a micro-step might be studying boundaries or books on dealing with toxic people or making a phone call to someone they think can help. For someone wanting to get back into having an online business, I believe having small rapid-fire challenges (like a goal that you can achieve in a weekend), and long-term challenges that have ‘micro-steps’ (like a 90 day plan with 17 min time-frames) is going to be effective. So right now I’m participating in other people’s challenges to get the momentum and step into that world again – to retrain my mind to taking daily micro-action, and hopefully experience some insights that I will be able to pass on to others. I thought about vlogging my journey but right now it’s hard enough to discipline myself to doing the challenge, let alone disciplining myself to record it all :) but maybe after this first phase perhaps. If you are interested in knowing which challenges I’m currently participating in this month: See Ed Dale’s “The New Challenge” and Jake Eagle’s “Thrilled to be Alive” challenge And if you live in my timezone (Melbourne, Australia) and would like to participate in mini-buddy-system accountability for your own forward-momentum, hit me up.