You can’t go into any of this with baggage

IN Dark Night of the Soul
You can't go into any of this with baggage

For those who are… messing with their realities, playing with the universe, opening their third-eyes, going down conspiracy rabbit holes, re-processing or re-evaluating what they believe is “true” in their world…. if you want to avoid twisting your mind completely like I did, please come to it with a clear soul.

Deal with your own shadows first.mistakes

From my own (Lessons-Learned.. omfg what is happening) experience, you can’t go into any of this with baggage.. and unfortunately we’ve all got these massive egos that we’re trying to defend (not consciously, but as part of our automatic defence system as we grew up in this world that just doesn’t feel right.. and to “get through life”, we had to adjust & create barriers to protect ourselves.. especially as children when we “were” actually powerless and being “told” what to believe)

As adults… we have to check ourselves, deal with what we have been denying our whole lives… we have to grow up and take responsibility for our own crap. That means looking at where we are not being virtuous, any un-dealt-with experiences where we have deep regret, shame, humiliation, embarrassment, anger, lack of humility, and any place we are “blaming anything external” for our own experience of reality.

We have to face our own Shadow – our shadow represents everything we believe we are “not” & is the hardest part of ourselves to face, but is made easier if you “know your own values” and don’t live in a way where you are sacrificing your own values. The Shadow will surface and show you where you are not being true to yourself. The suffering you feel is your denial of your own soul’s truth.

Yeah – other people are a part of it – a mirror that you can learn from – they can represent our deepest fears or show us how our own actions reflect in others, but you have to put all of them – every one of them (temporarily at least) in an “innocent” box so that you are able to deal with just “your stuff”.. because they are like you – they have their own programmes, beliefs, and brainwashing… they think they are innocent too.. and if they are unconscious – they blame “you”!  We have to put everything & everyone else in the innocent box and look at where “we” are not in alignment to our inner-truth/soul, and deal with it by correcting it – acknowledging it and forgiving it and then “learning from it” by never allowing ourselves to cross our own barriers (anytime we go against our own soul’s “values” is when we feel that pain/grief.. it has nothing to do with the external.. it’s ourselves… being anywhere that doesn’t resonate with our own inner-being.. what we uniquely know to be right in our soul).

Don’t allow yourself to go against your own values and you won’t encounter the suffering of resistance & fear. It is when we are living out of alignment to our soul, that we experience the pain.

This is why people who are messing with any of this are not having an easy ride. They have a lifetime of “conditioning” that is being uprooted & dislodged, including well-meaning companions that lovingly sympathise with you by telling you “it’s all them, not you”, and it’s a process to go through the cycle of removing all those veils which “no longer belong” because it’s not aligned to your own values.

We have to have a clear-out of our soul/inner-being, which means facing your shadow and what-seems-like-impossible forgiveness work, and re-aligning with your inner-truth.

Some people have what seems like a natural ability to “let it go”, for others – our victim programming has been running so long that it seems to take forever to release the darkness that has stained our souls. It only takes a long time for us because of our inability to accept or acknowledge our part in it – that we are also responsible… noone wants to take responsibility for their own part, we slip into victim mode and want others to suffer for the pain “they” inflicted on us, rather than seeing it from a soul perspective of – accepting that it’s happened – something happened that your soul doesn’t like – and freeing ourselves by disrupting the programming that puts us in a weak and powerless position; that made us “victims” instead of being true to ourselves. When you are true to yourself, “external” conditions can not trigger you. Own your power.

It’s easy to blame another, it requires all the strength of your being to forgive another & yourself and disrupt & re-align those old programmes – because it cracks open all our beliefs – everything we “knew to be true” is surfaced and you have to try and find a new place for it. Some people do go crazy. Most people have received no coping skills in their lives and are really struggling when faced with their own shadows. It’s so big to those without coping skills that some would rather take their own lives than deal with this. It’s so completely different to their life-long beliefs, that they literally cannot cope with facing their own shadows. Those who cannot find a way to face their shadow will keep seeing their shadow everywhere and if they can’t see that they have the power to change it, they will either be victims their entire lives, be dark & bitter, or die. Facing their own shadow is harder for some people than death itself. Our ingrained beliefs are so hard-wired and re-enforced by society, that those kinds of people would find this post the craziest thing ever – they would want to throw things at me for suggesting the audacity of “dealing with their own crap” when “they have been victimized” by another (I know – cos I went through the same thing.. I hated people who did not understand what “they” did to me).

But – and I totally wish I knew this to be 100% true before I went down these rabbit holes… but I doubted everything I had learned at that point, however I decided to face my own shadow anyway and now I know – so others can benefit – we can do it …. if we know and follow our own values.

Don’t go against your own soul – and then as each shadow comes up to be dealt with, it’s more of an awareness restructuring rather than demons and hellfire and excruciating suffocation. If I had totally owned that, this past year would’ve been a completely enlightening experience…. and it was, but I wouldn’t wish my lessons upon anyone. Own this advice from someone who really cares – please re-learn your own core values – the ones you were born with.

The way we live in modern society is against our own soul’s values. This is our “normal”. We, who are awakening, are realizing this but have trouble knowing how to deal with ‘seeing beyond the veil’ because it’s been “our normal” our entire lives. But once you awaken, you can’t go back to sleep. You can’t unsee what you now see. You can’t keep insulting your own soul. Take the time to go within and work on yourself; and start with knowing your own values and seeing where you are “not” what your inner truth knows and is guiding you to be.

No longer trusting that societal/cultural and automatic programming, “the external version of wrong/right”… but our inner guidance.. our humility, our innocent selves, the ones who are here on a soul adventure.

To cease soul-suffering, we need to remove the fear that has been programmed and aided/amplified by us, and live true to our own values… stop living in any way that insults our own soul.

From this excruciating (but doesn’t need to be, if we’re conscious) process, we gain the wisdom of coping skills, as well as freedom over our life back.. face your own shadow, which removes the fear of living/fear of others, etc… when you know yourself & are aligned with yourself (when you live by your own values & know your own soul-boundaries)… nothing can harm you or insult you anymore… it’s because we keep “changing ourselves” for what we think the external world expects of us, and if what we do goes against our own virtues (of what our inner-self believes is wrong/right etc) we experience internal turmoil and suffering.

When others are harmful, hurtful, doing anything that insults your soul – don’t lower your own virtue to match their vibration – you become an “enabler” – that just enables them to stay there – does nothing to help them and your soul will wrench your heart with all it’s might until you free yourself – you will experience the suffering that comes from ignoring your own values. Keep true to your own soul’s truth. They may not understand, but that’s not your role. Your role is to live true to your own values. To follow your own pure heart’s guidance. 

If you believe in karma… use this lifetime to work on your own karma. Fix what has been spoilt for your generation. Stop dragging around and projecting your own fears. Stop being part of the problem. Align with your own soul’s values, and experience this world through a new lens. As each of us deal with our own crap, and start aligning to our inner-core, the world is changed from inside out. We no longer come to any experience with our shadows running the show – we come from a place of our own virtues, and give permission for others to break out of their societal programming too. We can help others the most, by first – coming from a space from a clean heart. 


Penny (
Penny (

Who are we? What are we doing here? What is the meaning of life? Penny is a truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper down the rabbit hole. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, whilst providing a searchable archive to easily lookup and reference.