Dear Future Self… “F* I love my life”.

IN Dark Night of the Soul
dear future self

I’m going to be all gushy right now and say “F* I love my life”. Filled with gratitude to be here right now.

This year has been, woah, a total re-awakening, so much has changed, and this moment may never of come. But right now, life is joyful. Yet nothing in particular has changed recently, it’s been a step-by-step journey from the darkness to right now. I’ve got nothing new to report, but my ‘insides’ are dancing. I’m pretty much happy all the time for no particular reason.

I dunno what it is – maybe I’m sick? LOL..yep, of course I’d ‘blame’ some kind of sickness on me being so happy, what the? That some kind of illness would change the body chemistry to be on a permanent-happy-beat.

I don’t really care why, just loving the ‘buzz’, loving how big my heart has become. Loving how I can look past the person that stands in front of me and see only the good… their beautiful soul, their true form, their greatness, their power… even if they can’t.

I feel like skipping and everything feels better than it’s been in years and for no particular reason, other than it’s all coming together… or I’m just delirious.. and if that’s the case, can I stay here? In the land of Delirium?

dear future self I thought I’d just let my future self know that life was pretty damn good at one time, so I can reflect back on this moment if I ever need to (or if I die tonight, you can know that I died with a smile on my face).

My heart extends out to the universe right now. I feel silly, giddy and drunk on life, on all that is. No, I haven’t been drinking… haven’t drank in almost 2 years (although I could be high on the toxic fumes from the renovations that my sister is doing).

I love my life and everyone in it right now, so thank you universe, thank you family, thank you friends xoxo.

I’d like to hang out in this ‘bliss’ for a while longer if I may? Please don’t pull me down from this high – leave me in this cloud of happiness. I want this to stay my reality. I choose this life.

Penny (
Penny (

Who are we? What are we doing here? What is the meaning of life? Penny is a truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper down the rabbit hole. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, whilst providing a searchable archive to easily lookup and reference.