No longer the shiny-light at work

IN Vlog

The way that I made my job ok was to be the shining light in people’s days. To raise the vibrations in this area. That was my purpose, I made it my purpose. “These people need the most help, and I’m just going to be their angel.” Now that that’s no longer my purpose, while I’m in questioning-everything mode, it’s hard to go into the workplace and be the shiny light when I’ve got no light inside of me right now. It’s back to a crappy job with low vibes and no “spark” in me anymore.
If I’m not there to help people, what am I doing there?
Reality me = I can do so much better than this & sees no point in being here.
Mystery me = still wants to have the sense of helping people again.

Really do think that my videos would be a great psychology project.
Should I check to see if I have a brain tumor or something? Back of my skull is heavy when I’m in mystery-mode.
X-rays alternative like thermal imaging. To cover all basis.

Job is now “not good enough” for me and got a bit more confidence in myself. When I’m in that uniform I feel “less than”, and when I feel that without my spark, I’m radiating that particular energy, which gets the reflection/mirror of others who are matching that vibration, or because you are in that lower vibration – you can’t tap into the higher vibration. I thought I was doing good, the domino effect of kindness & love, that it was making a difference in some way – the entire community & then some. Now that I don’t see myself as helping people in a meaningful way, the feeling of “OMG I don’t belong here” is much stronger than the feeling of “Hey, I’m here to help people” because that feels stupid.

Original (Longer) Version: Need to leave my job. Lost my purpose there.

Penny (
Penny (

Who are we? What are we doing here? What is the meaning of life? Penny is a truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper down the rabbit hole. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, whilst providing a searchable archive to easily lookup and reference.