The dark night of the soul is a mirror of your deepest fears

IN Dark Night of the Soul
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Just prior to the last stages of ascension, there is usually a moment called “the dark night of the soul”, where the last of negative energies are released before transcendence.

We all now have the opportunity of Ascension within our current lifetime. This is a Divine Decree from Creator that all may have the opportunity within this current ending of many cycles and the beginning of new ones. However, Ascension does require commitment and work; it is not given for free. You need to be prepared to examine your beliefs and perceptions, examine who you really are, release all negative aspects of living, and heal all inner wounds and traumas. It is not an easy path, but we are always told the rewards are immense.

~ Empowering Your Soul: Buckle Up for the Wildest Ride of Your Life By Glenys-Kay

The dark night of the soul occurs when you confront your innermost fears and feel them completely and deeply.

These are fears that you’ve had, but which you previously kept from conscious awareness by staying busy, using intoxicants, or willing yourself not to think about them.

In a cycle of irony, when we hide our fears from concious awareness, it’s because we are afraid of our own fears. Yet, when we face the fears, we can see how illogical and powerless they are. That’s when we are no longer ruled or controlled by unconscious fears. It’s true freedom!

In a dark night of the soul, you feel totally alone in the world, completely misunderstood, as if you don’t fit in anywhere. You feel like your life doesn’t matter, so what’s the use of carrying on? It’s painful! Some people don’t survive.

But if you can stay with the emotions, including the very painful ones, the dark night of the soul can actually lift your whole life to a higher and clearer level.

Nobody wishes for a dark night of the soul, and it’s not something that you can create artificially. Basically, it just happens when you least expect it, usually because something has triggered a deep and dark emotional place inside of you.

Dark nights of the soul, like every part of life, serve a healing and useful function. The dark night of the soul is a mirror that you hold up to yourself so that you can see the contents of your ego’s fears. A lot of the painful emotions you’re experiencing are connected to situations that happened in your childhood.

Don’t numb your pain or run away from your emotions. They’re your teachers! Just keep asking your painful feelings, “What are you here to teach me?”

Ultimately, it will boil down to this: forgiving yourself and everyone who has ever hurt you is the only way to escape the pain. You don’t need to forgive their actions. You definitely should still stand up for yourself and be truthful about your feelings. And you don’t want to stand for any form of abuse. But forgiveness is essential as the ultimate detox. Let go of the past in all directions of time and finally be free!

~ Healing From the Dark Night of the Soul By Doreen Virtue
Excerpted from Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of ‘Too Nice’

The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation.

The loss of a love and the pain of a broken relationship is an overload of projection. The psyche knows how to heal, but it hurts. Sometimes the healing hurts more than the initial injury, but if you can survive it, you’ll be stronger.

Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say “This is what I need”. It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment – not discouragement – you will find the strength is there. Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life.

Looking back at your life, you’ll see moments which seemed like great failures were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. Even though it looks and feels like a negative crisis, it is not.

The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation.

When everything is lost, and all seems darkness, then comes the new life and all that is needed.

~ A Joseph Campbell Companion: Reflections on the Art of Living By Joseph Campbell

Let go of any expectations.

Our ego is trained to permanently expect something from others. Stop expecting anything in this connection, no matter if it is in terms of timing (e.g. “my partner will get in touch within the next week, month”) or reactions (“he will feel bad or guilty about his behaviour”) or his awakening process (“he must have been through this by now”). Your partner has his own free will and needs to go through his or her experience and development on his or her own. There is nothing you can do or say directed towards him or her to speed up that process. It is an internal process for them that they have to go through at their own speed. All you can do to support is working on yourself and your own development and hold a spot for them in your heart and feeling your unconditional love for them without any blame or regret. This will take pressure away from the connection and will help both of you to move on. Enjoy the fact that you are connected on the spiritual level and appreciate their energies to support you in moving forward.

In order to deal with my expectations, I embraced this needy and control-freaky side of myself without judging myself for it or identifying with it. Then I started to give myself some rules such as – check your mobile phone only twice a day. Step by step these attachments dissolved more and more until they were gone completely.


Let go of your role as a victim.

Understand that it is always about you. Don’t blame your partner for the pain you are experiencing. Understand that this connection brings up all past imprinted patterns, templates and fears that you are forced to take a look at. You will learn what still needs healing inside of you. You will discover the potentials you carry inside of you that need to be awakened. So facing and releasing your own fears and learning your own lessons is a big part of this connection. Deal with traumas and behavioural patterns of the past and work on your self-love. Only if you find the love within yourself you will be able to give and receive this love to others especially to your twin flame partner. You have to understand that wholeness comes from within, and that no one can make you whole except yourself. A relationship in the physical is an added benefit but nothing that will give you the feeling of being whole.

It helped me a lot to write down how I see this situation out of my perspective as a victim and then out of my perspective as a grown-up person that has control over herself. It is unbelievable what a big difference there was between my mind/ego attitude and my soul/spirit/heart attitude.

It might help you to exchange with people and/or healers who understand this connection. Unfortunately, family and friends, although they want to help you will not understand what you are going through and why you cannot detach from this connection, so their advice – although meant to make you feel better – has often the reverse effect and makes you rather sad or angry. Try to redirect the energies into something useful, like helping friends or brighten the days of someone around you, even if it is just holding the door for someone or complementing a waiter in a café, work on your life mission ideas…

~ A “Chaser’s” Perspective – Managing the Twin Flame Experience by Vera

To explore all shades of being human

Dark night of the soul ▶ ego defences > blame > hurt > victim > vengeance > anger > rage > woe
lesson: life > mirror > opportunity

Guilt ▶ regret > humiliation > fear > sadness > worry > despair > ashamed > sorrow > embarrassed > self-punishment
“ie.. your deepest fears living on you, pushing on you, threatening you at every moment whilst you allow your ego to put on a mask and pretend all is well”
lesson: life > mirror > opportunity

Learn/grow/expand/embrace the wisdom & return to authenticity or …suppress > wear-masks “blame external”/defensive-mode/continue to carry pain/triggers.

Everyone you meet has something to teach you – about yourself, about life, about what pains you, or triggers you or aspects of you that you have never explored… the energies of “more than one” coming together with their own fears and own expectations and own aspects yet unexplored – coming together to explore.. to create a new “something that has never been” … there is no other you.. these unique diverse aspects coming together.. newness.. something unexplored is created.. and you don’t know whether that aspect of you that had remained unexplored before is beneficial or harmful / resonates with your soul or hurts.. until you actually explore it, spontaneously and fully.

Sometimes you don’t want to explore those aspects again – they were inauthentic to who you are.. (that’s the “pain”).. but you “explored it anyway” or got swept away in it, or life gave you that opportunity… cos it’s only by participating, exploring, spontaneously living/being there in that particular situation… that you got to learn about different aspects of you.. it’s only in hindsight that you recognize what insults your soul.. it’s only in hindsight .. you understand life backwards.. you can’t know until you.. experience.. until you participate.. until you try.

Forgiviness of others and forgiveness of ourselves… for being human.. for not having all the answers.. for not knowing the perfect path .. we don’t know what we’re doing on this planet.. or whether we’re here for this.. this opportunity.. to learn about ourselves.. to explore all shades of being human – with all it’s limitations and fears and complex conditioning and lol.. all the rest of the unique diverse crazy soup-mix that we are .. and we can learn and share way more aspects of ourselves when we are doing it with the help of others… and it seems like.. life is just a cycle of this.. newness being created by the diversity of uniqueness.. coming together.. creating new.. correcting imbalances.. showing us who we are.. but never giving us all the answers.. & whilst we yearn for that, would we want that? or is that while we’re here.. I think we’re like in “kindergarden” mode of all that we don’t know… and are yet to explore.

Life is ever the “waiting to find out what happens in the next episode”.. we’re always on the edge of our seats wondering what next will be revealed.

~ My Dark Night of the Soul musings By Penny

Dark Night of the Soul quotes

▶ There can be no rebirth without a dark night of the soul, a total annihilation of all that you believed in and thought you were. ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan

▶ As the legend goes, when the Phoenix resurrects from the flames, she is even more beautiful than before. ~ Danielle La Porte

▶ What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. ~ Richard Bach

▶ It’s not what you go through that defines you; you can’t help that. It’s what you do After you’ve gone through it that really tests who you are. ~ Kwame Floyd

You’re always the one that is teaching you.

When you are following another, it’s always you and your filters that are receiving, perceiving and organizing/cataloguing the information. Realign with the truth of your blueprint.

Dark night of the soul – URIEL. Walk through it with a flashlight. Understand that nothing can be taken from you. Whatever is happening, especially within the twin flame relationship dynamic, is what is happening within you. If you have been betrayed, if you have been left, if you’ve been abandoned, if you’ve been hurt, if you’ve been disrespected, it’s because you were doing it to you.

Any of those things that you perceive as being “done to you”, is something that you were doing to yourself. And when you understand that; reflect and go within, then you will receive love from within and then whatever is meant to come to you; (whether it’s twin flame or not) is going to come to you. Accept and acknowledge that there’s risk in everything & we’re here for this.

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Penny (
Penny (

Truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper, ever trying to 'figure it out'. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, & random points of interests.