Life is always uncovering who you really are

IN Dark Night of the Soul
  • Updated:6 years ago
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As I observe life through my own movie screen, I’m more and more understanding of how our minds create our realities and yet confused about humans make-up – why we allow our fears to come to the surface rather than trusting life?

Observing a particular person in my life, I can see how he has created his own hell, a place of shadows, fears, demons. The fear is real and he yearns to “gain control” over his reality, and by pushing to “gain control”, all his fears are being realized – they literally ‘come to life’ for him to explore.

Is that by design? Do we get to explore whatever reality is going to help us grow and expand the most? Using others as pawns in our own game?

He lives in a delusional reality, where anything that doesn’t match to the outcome that he wants, is so much the enemy, that he can’t believe it. Truth, which is what he wants more than anything, is right there for him to accept and free him from his demons, his inner-truth is in tact and he can see what the truth is, but the ego does everything and anything to not face the truth and instead grasps hold of all his fears, bringing them up. Is this happening because life always gives us opportunities to explore whatever fantasy or illusion we want? Is he learning from this? Is this serving him?

By observing the demon take over and encourage him to push ahead to gain control, I saw him lose everything that he was “pushing” to gain control over. It was insanity playing out.

The most important thing I’ve learnt while watching the past year play out, is that you can only attract through magnetism, not force. And that was the final lesson that I needed to witness, to trust that as truth. I could see him battle with his soul, where some moments he realized the truth and could embrace change and be in peace, and other moments, his fears would surface and he would want to do something that would lead to complete and utter humiliation and “wrong-ness” if there is such a thing… completely delusional.

When you seek win/win where all parties benefit by coming together, something profound happens and when coming together where each allows others to be their authentic selves; it is peaceful and everyone gains harmony from the experience. And that is an instinctual nature of us too, to seek inner-peace.

When one decides to be selfish and force their will over another, by having expected outcomes or trying to manipulate another’s will, or to see the worst in everything instead of trusting life’s natural flow, you attract fear, resistance and life seems to mirror what you need to bring you back into your authentic self, so life mirrors what you need to show you that it’s “not you”…. when you live in a world of black/white, right/wrong, light/dark, gain/loss, life will constantly give you opportunities to find balance – to make a correction to more peace, harmony, balance… where nothing is right or wrong… that nature has it’s own flow, it’s own balancing act / programme built-in.

I see how others in his life have helped shape him into this fear-obsessing victim by feeding his fears based on their own programming. Offering him sympathy, empathy, coddling him when he expresses his fears and never encouraging him to face his shadows and mend that big space inside, that wound that is an entire galaxy of a life-time fears that has been suppressed instead of released.

He seeks to blame anything external for his misery. Not seeing that life has been showing him a mirror of “this is not you” for years, but he hasn’t yet accepted the gift that life is giving him.

That the energy of life is always seeking the best of what you might become. When you are living in “Excess”, life gives you the opportunity to re-adjust your sails. Gives you opportunities to adjust & adapt… or the situation will crumble.

When you trust life, and have the certainty that everything is unfolding perfectly so you are free to grow; you succeed, because you find that the tension actually leads to excitement & the joy of “doing the work”.

Unbalanced energy creates a chain-reaction of events, that results in both the result of the event proceeding balanced with the ’cause’ of the one following, and you are no match for nature’s power to bring it down. Nature is unbiased and doesn’t care about right/wrong good/bad, it merely seeks to return balance.

His family treat him as a little boy (even though he is an adult now with his own children) and they try and encourage him to “do the right thing” as per “their ideal” of what is right – rather than what is right for his authentic soul. What is right for “all of us” is to be true to who we are, our authentic selves. To live our life cycles as per what life wants for us, not trying to force square pegs into round holes, where everyone sacrifices who they are in order to fit into this “political/control/westernized brainwashed” idea and manipulative agenda of what we are doing here.

Over the years but especially noticeable since 2012, the world is waking up that they have been ‘had‘. Something has shifted amongst the global consciousness. Many are awakening to the realization that we’ve been manipulated into a life cycle that matches certain agenda’s, people have wielded this reality to serve them, they have understood how life works and have used it to enslave people for their own joy & control. By keeping people in fear, they keep people in line. Keep people as slaves to serve the few, but “pay” them for their slavery so that they do it willingly. Control the food, water, land, banks, government, education, and health. It’s insanity, the world has been manipulated systematically by a few, and we have done so willingly.

Those that start to wake-up, think crap – what do we do now that we see this? What can we do when everyone around us is still sleeping, playing out their fears, slaves to the system and playing out a delusional reality that serves the few instead of the many. That we can all be free of this system, if we can first release our fears, come into our true authenticity, and not allow the system to control our lives. By doing the work on ourselves, we slowly disentangle from the system and as a by-product, show others ways of freeing themselves. When you are one of the first to wakeup, you feel so alone, like you’re the only one in the world that can see this – am I crazy? What is going on here? Why are they saying that, thinking that, why can’t they see?

You try and talk about it with people, but it only “pokes” their wounds, brings their fears to the surface, it provokes their fear-based “programming” and they become “soldiers” of the very army-of-fear that you are trying to free them from.

So you go underground. Only speaking about it with like-minds. Trying “softer and gentler” ways to help people wake up.

Gently planting seeds – suggestions to ‘get off the fluoride’ & other chemicals, which turns off their inner-guidance, their connection to their intuition, their path to reason and truth.

Doing our part.. being forgiving when people expect a fight, gently suggesting alternatives rather than forcefully shoving the truth down their throat, being compassionate and trusting that each are at the level they are meant to be on at the time, giving them the free will to be on their own hero’s journey, to trust that they are learning and growing and experiencing and expanding from where they are at, and that their soul is guiding them at their own pace, that they are living their own story, and experiencing what they have come here to experience, and sometimes… that doesn’t include waking up just yet, that there is no “set time” that everyone awakens, only when it is “time” for them to awaken, they will start to see… not before.

Some wakeup by changing their diets, some by going through a shocking event like a relationship breakdown, accident, or getting extremely ill, or some after experiencing solitude or time-alone with their inner-truth, some by trying self-help programs that help them think differently and create new neural pathways, and many other millions of ways that their own soul leads them, to their unique ways of waking up. Trust their unique journey that they are “playing out”, trust their life cycle is true for them.

But plant the seed. Gently plant the seeds. Because not only do we have our trusted pathway of life, we also have the fear-based agenda who is manipulating those life cycles to serve them, and we cannot stand back and do nothing about that, because when you reach these different levels, you no longer see others as separate. We are part of the same hive-mind that is sharing this reality, and so whilst you trust their soul’s unique journey, their unique expression of whatever it is we really are, we also seek to help others become free of their entanglements that is stopping them from living out their life cycles the way life/nature intended.

So there is this fine-line discernment needed, where “doing the work” on yourself is the most effective and natural way of flowing with life, whilst also the most effective and natural way of disentangling others from the system, gently showing them how to break free, by ourselves, becoming free.

A bigger-shift seemed to occur in 2012, and I don’t know what is behind it – maybe just nature’s time to go through a different cycle. Many have different theories from aliens and multi-dimensional beings interference or help, to the 2nd coming of Jesus, to the Mayan calendar prophecies, to Mother Nature correcting excess, but whatever it is, the source of fear seems to of been not so much ‘turned off’ but at least lessened, because the “soldiers” of the army are still “running the programme”, yet something within all of us has been stirred-up, shifted. I thought it was only within the few, but I am starting to see it in everyone I meet. Nature is changing. Maybe just adjusting, balancing extremes, but everyone is going through some kind of cycle that is helping them “level-up” and learn … about these cycles of balance.

The original instigators of the fear agenda may of been put on ice, but the soldiers are still programmed to play out their fear-based illusions, where they are so scared of:
– what other people think
– being different / unique / authentic to who they are
– stepping outside of the norm

and so reliant on the system that was created, for their food, money, housing, water, infrastructure, and community, that they will continue to fight the fear-based agenda’s battles, instead of unlocking the cage and freeing themselves.

If they were to wake up, they would go through the same death-throes that we have gone through, and that is so “outside of their programming”, that for most, they are not ready to be unplugged.

But it’s happening whether they are ready or not.

As those who have awoken before them, continue to awaken all over the planet, we are each working from a hive-mind that is “here to help” – here to help nature balance, or nature is here to help balance all of us. As each awaken, the hive-mind is adjusted. The fear-based agenda loses another soul, as more and more become conscious of what is really going on.

They help by being authentic, and being the change, being the example, being the front-runners of living in a more love-based reality, but not even just “love based”… nature seems to be correcting itself… to no extremes. The excess “high/low” “good/bad” “black/white” is becoming centred & balanced.

Though some who “wokeup” (myself included) went completely the opposite and went too extreme into a love-based reality, anything that is not harmonizing and embracing all of life, is being corrected. Life is finding a way of balancing all of us / excess. We are creating something new – this timeline has never happened before, we are experiencing something where past ideas will no longer work and new thought-processes will be needed to guide our way through this new never-been-seen before reality that is constantly adjusting and shaping as people go through their various shifts in consciousness.

When you trust nature, trust change.

When you start to realize that this fear-based agenda, is now just a superficial programme that is only running now because of those who were enslaved still being deeply entangled in a web of lies, and that it is not an easy-process to disentangle generations of those who were caught-up in the system, you realize that life will show you where you can make a difference, where you need to work on yourself, life will teach you, nature will teach you “what next”.

Fears will show up, shadows to teach you what is “not you”, things to work on by releasing, forgiving, and return you to peace.

Grace, humility, modesty… becoming the best of who you are, your authentic expression of creation, without imposing on others becoming the best of who they are, their authentic expression of creation.

Stop forcing your way through life and allow life to guide you to who you are, and what you are here for. It won’t be what you think, but it will bring you peace, harmony, humility and confidence.

Learn to ride nature’s cycles, it is gentle and each cycle teaches you something about your unique self, that will help you and others in your journey along the path.

When you use force, you ride against nature’s flow, and you will encounter resistance at each level. It’s nothing to the way we’ve been taught, this is a new base foundation for us to begin creating something profound.

You will keep living out the same cycle, returning again and again to the same level of misery until you learn what you were supposed to learn; which is to be authentically uniquely who you are. Each cycle is giving you an opportunity to learn more about yourself through situations and others, and you are free to explore that, you learn, grow, evolve, expand from that.. and as you integrate the learning, you may be tempted to impress or behave in a way to gain acceptance of others.

People will show up, or situations will show up in your life. You are constantly learning about your unique perspective of the shared-movie, shared-reality screen, and to gain friendships, you can sometimes slip out of being the “real you”, which is another word for “excess”. When you are not in harmony with who you really are, at a core foundation level, life will give you an opportunity to correct that… to return to your authentic self.

In other words, there is no need to impress or behave in a way to gain acceptance of others. Be sincere in yourself, retain your individuality and dignity, and you won’t lose your authenticity. But be open to life, realize that all situations are for you to learn more about who you are and your impact on others, and their impact on you, that you are nature experiencing nature, you are consciousness experiencing consciousness. It is not a mistake. It is not punishment. It is life’s way – a school for unique souls to learn about that snippet of creation, and it has a fail-safe balancing programming in-built for you to achieve your unique path from your authenticness. In other words, a red rose in a meadow in China should not yearn to be a blue flower in Australia; the red rose, the authentic, unique red rose’s life path is to learn and experience, expand, grow, and follow life’s path for that unique snippet of creation.

You are you, you are here to be your unique authentic self and not look over the neighbour’s fence. Your path, your flow is unique to you, and as we watch life unfold, from our authentic core, we are shown “the way”. And the way, is the path of least resistance.

I see resistance now as our soul… or our inner-guidance system, our inner-truth, or “life”… nature’s flow.. telling us.. “this is not the path”.. this is not your way.. this is not truth to who you are, and what you are here for. This is not your authentic self.

It’s us “looking over the fence” and being manipulated to thinking that “we want that too”, because we think “that will make us happy”.

But what is happiness? It’s inner-peace, calmness, harmony, being authentic to who you are.. it’s flow.

When you can flow with life and allow others to flow with life, when you stay in your integrity and authentic to who you are, and you allow others to do the same, the coming together of minds like that, of hearts like that, of souls like that, can be profoundly blissful, comfortable, creatively energized, and you allow the flowers to become the garden.

The truth is, life is always giving you opportunities to uncover who you really are, to take off the masks, to reveal your inner-truth, and to live in flow in nature.

The truth is, life is wanting the best expression of who you really are. Limitations are life’s way of teaching you unique abilities in yourself, strength’s and newness.

The seed starts in the earth, the limitations teaches strength, growth, expansion, “coming into” what nature intended it to be.

We too, are the seeds of nature; the sunflowers, the rocks, the plants, the animals, the spirits of all, this “hive-mind” expressing itself through all of creation. It “is” creation expressing itself and learning about itself… and all of life changes and moves towards growth. We need to relinquish expectation and allow both peace and creative forces to teach us. Flow is the allowing of life to unfold on it’s terms, trusting the journey.

It doesn’t care about what we’ve been brainwashed to care about. It cares only for the red-rose being the authentic red-rose in a meadow in China and everything that red-rose experiences naturally from the core of who it is. The growth that it experiences from the cycles of the seasons, from the habitat, from nature.

As conscious beings, we can observe how life is working, how the cycles move, we can find the balance between peace and contentment with the following of energy of life that wishes to move forward. We can release our expectations and discover the joy of following life on its terms, from our unique viewpoint.

And all of nature’s flowers. That is us, all of us, and the planets and the earth and the entire universe.

If you just stay authentic without opening up to what life has to teach you, life will find you anyway. You can’t hide from life, it will always find you. You can evolve in your backyard, you can evolve in the forest alone. Your inner-truth, the core authenticness of who you are, your seed, your part in this game, is here for a reason – to experience something, to grow, evolve. Even those in a coma can evolve through the spiritual realms. There is no hiding from life, you just delay what you came here to learn, life will keep offering you cycles until you return to your authenticness of your being. The trick is… not to try and create shortcuts, just allow life to show you.. flow with the moment. Live in the now.

Live in the moment and life will guide you, teach you, and create situations where every moment you have a decision to operate from your authenticity, adjust to allow the comfort of others, learn/expand from others, or to fake your way through it to appease something “outside of you” and feel the consequences of resisting your inner-truth. Some moments, you are experiencing all of those things at the very same time.

And even as I type these words, while pondering the going-on’s in life, in my friends’ lives, in my co-workers’ lives, in other people’s lives, and in my own unique viewpoint of life, I know that life will show me more, will open me up to more, will show me what life is, by living it fully, in the moment. That I still haven’t reached this foundational base-level that it is seeking to return me to, that it is teaching me to return to. That it is constantly and ever-teaching me, revealing to me, unfolding to me. And I wonder if we’ll ever truly understand what this place is all about, and in the meantime… let’s enjoy it while we’re here, let’s ride the ups & downs like a thrill-ride, and accept what it is we see on our own unique character we’re playing in this game.. this mystery game of life.

Morning pages: 4th August, 2016 (that I just found today, 9th May 2017)

Penny (
Penny (

Truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper, ever trying to 'figure it out'. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, & random points of interests.