Have you noticed a lot of “I’ve recently changed my life” or “I’ve recently let go of the past / lost everything”, etc. all over the place? I see it “EVERYWHERE” literally, I’m hearing it on my podcasts, I’m seeing it on my Facebook, I’m witnessing it on tv, I’m reading about it on blog posts. There is definitely something in the air :) Something that is calling or forcing people to do back-flips on their lives. Something that is aiding great changes to happen among the masses, especially becoming more noticeable over the past couple of years.
What you are witnessing & experiencing on my own site is that same journey, the journey-in-motion.. the part by part, stage by stage, journey of someone who is completely changing their lives around from the darkness to the light. From death to living. From pain and poverty to health and self-sufficiency. From depression to “heart singing” moments. A life back-flip.
You are able to see what it looks like when someone decides to freely speak their truth after a lifetime of being told that I have wrong-thinking – that society doesn’t function that way, that it is ‘weird’ and unnatural to do what you want, to say what you want…
…that to be a unique identity in this world of clones and sheep is the way to isolation.. instead of the truth – which is the direct opposite – you feel more isolated when you cannot feel free to be yourself…when you cannot express what the truth inside your soul is screaming… “that right there” is the definition of isolation. a world where to you ‘everyone else seems to be from another planet’, hehe, and that somewhere within their deep core, there must be more.. that surely they universally know the truth but are living a life wearing a mask.
I don’t know if that’s true – what you might see is one of those “mid-life crises” or want to put a white jacket on me lol … I just know within myself that the answer was not trying to ‘fit in’ ..was not trying to ‘conform’.. but to reboot to a life that has meaning for me.
All of it is starting to come together, and now I’m beginning to get glimpses of the connection with the unfolding, natural transformation of this site…and my life.
When I changed everything here and decided to let myself go, to be ‘free’ to be me, to do what “I” was called to do – something that was stronger than my ever-incessant need to question ‘why’.. when I decided to speak my truth, this site was developing into.. “who knows what..”.. a wreckless journal? an embarrassing mash-up life-story?
Seriously.. a complete mess from a normal perspective.. different topics coming out of me..
mindset.. consciousness.. spirituality..
natural healing…plant-based living..
dna… cellular health..
the membership sites, the community, podcasts
Where was it all leading? What was the connection? Was there any?
Even I had no idea where it was going – only that I couldn’t ‘change’ it.. that it felt ‘right’ to keep going anyway, and felt “wrong” to remove anything (although I’ve hidden a lot that will start to popup every now and then lol) .. but I guess my logic has been that if nothing else, it was helping ‘me’ understand myself better.. or giving me a space in the world where I can just speak my truth, big or small, whatever interest I was currently focusing on, just being driven by my heart… collecting notes, directing my research, and just gaining more awareness about the multitude of things that goes through my mind at different times :)
I couldn’t “sit on my hands” and just stick to one thing.
Each topic having equal importance in my mind, and at the end of my fingers..
I didn’t know why I was called to delete everything that I had been working on up until that time (70 sites) and make this one ‘hub’ for all of these seemingly ‘separate’ and ‘unrelated’ – even seemingly ‘opposing’ topics.
I would’ve put it down to ‘depression’ or darkness, and confusion .. especially at the beginning when I was all of those things.. except that it actually helped me clear ‘all of those things’.. it was only when I was writing whatever I wanted, with freedom, expressing whatever was important each day..whatever my truth was ‘in that moment’.. that I felt joyful, at home, comfortable in my own skin… and that it was all important and connected somehow. That even though I had no clarity when I began this journey, I was still sick, in a dark place, and had major brain fog so my blog posts were far from ‘perfect’ as they used to be… in fact, sometimes my notes were all I could post – no intro, no explanation, just a ‘copy’ of the notes that I had taken because I just couldn’t form anything in my mind to go with it.
I just knew it was important to share, but my mind was still too cloudy to “be a proper blogger” for lack of a better definition. The total opposite of everything that I was previously used to, so opposite of what is “correct” and ‘expected’… but it’s all helped me reach the next stage… (if I had’ve “stopped” and not posted anything because I couldn’t think of anything to say..and my words were not forming with clarity.. I may be 523 posts and 89 pages “behind” in my journey right now…still staring at a blank screen… ).
Theof the ‘why’ and the ‘where it is going’ is starting to emerge now.
I’m still not 100% sure where this is all leading, but I’m starting to have more awareness of the connections… to get a better understanding of how each of them are intertwined, and get a clearer idea about why it is, what direction it is going, & what it might be becoming…
…My inkling is that this site might end up being transformed into a portal for other spiritual souls on their own journey to higher consciousness or their truth, their freedom, and giving them both a platform to learn and share their experiences, as well as skills to be able to share what is inside them to the world.. to first, re-discover themselves, as I am doing.. and then I ‘feel’ they will have an irresistible urge to share their truth, their inner understandings, unique insights, and their pieces of the collective puzzle. That my task, is to help give them a voice, from a place of equality.
That everything I’ve been learning and sharing, my unique past experiences and excessive determination & dedication to seeking answers… that my “gift” that I am honing in on right now, is the embodiment of all these things that I cannot hold inside of me, that they are all important somehow, or hold a useful piece of the puzzle that leads to the next step… that my unique perspective; the way that I describe my journey, will be what will help others who are just becoming conscious too.
Sometimes you can read 100 books leading you to the exact same place, telling you the exact same thing that you need to hear to ‘move past’ your current self and experience growth to the next stage, but it’s that onethat you read from someone who explains it in a way that can ‘reach’ you, at a time when you need to hear it, where you finally ‘get it’… when you finally see the connection, when you finally see what 100 authors have been trying to explain to you over and over, that you weren’t yet ready to hear or you hadn’t got all the other parts that allowed you to change a belief that you previously had that was blocking you from seeing the truth.
I don’t know if you have ever had that feeling, but I definitely have… actually it happens “all the time” … like I feel like there is some kind of ‘truth’ to what an author has said about something, some kind of life-changing paragraph that feels true but I don’t really get it or can’t ‘justify it’ fully in my own head to make it a ‘universal truth’ for me, something’s missing – maybe I don’t have enough understanding about a certain part of it, that until I get that ‘missing part’, my b.s. metre is still guarding my belief-system until I can unravel that one last thread of information, and so even though it feels right, and I’m seeking understanding, I’m still just not able to put my finger on why it feels true to me.. until finally, a completely different author says the same thing in a different way, or provides that missing tidbit, where I can get my “ah-ha” moment and can finally see all the connections, all the ‘truths’ in the other things that I have read, everything just opens up and I “get it”… all of it.. 100 books of wisdom finally merge into the same message and I can see it in everything, that “woah, that is totally awesome!” feeling.
Like the first time you hear that you create your own reality.. it sounds like complete b.s. but maybe there is something to it, then 50 other people try and explain how you create your own reality.. and maybe a few of them make more sense to you, like you can see it, you can sorta believe it, and you might even start trying to make “it work” whatever it is.. but you don’t fully comprehend it.. or know how to make it work for you.. you know that it’s probably true, you might get some part of it, like maybe the part where you are your thoughts, but then maybe someone else provides an ‘exercise’ to ‘prove’ that you create your own reality. That would be an example of a missing ‘tidbit’, that one hurdle that your mind needed to jump over, before it all made sense, and that all the other parts of it became clear.
A better example is of things that are “way out there” for most normal people. Some might think there is truth to a lot of conspiracy theories also.. aliens controlling the government, or secret societies aka “THEY” controlling us – keeping us ‘dumbed down’, keeping us trapped in lower-consciousness with wars, conflict, disease, media, poisonous foods, chemical trails, water supply, pharmaceutical and vaccines, that religions were created for “controlling the masses”, that this world is an illusion .. and whatever else.. hmm.. actually, most of this stuff sounds almost about right to me … so maybe this isn’t a good example.. however, I’ll continue to use it… just pick one or more of these that you don’t have as a firm belief one way or another about. Something that you don’t hold as true or false – something you just have a vague instinct that it ‘may’ be plausible, but your mind is still in disbelief because you can’t just take on that new belief straight away. Then you start investigating and find there are loads of conflicting beliefs – some will feel right, some will feel wrong, but others might switch from one to the other as you continue to research and try and get your mind around it – try and make a decision one way or another.. there is still something missing that will make it ‘true’ for them, for them to let-go of a previous belief or a lifetime of brainwashing and accept something as fact. What would need to happen? For everyone, it is different. Depending on what you were brought up to believe, depending on every single conversation and piece of knowledge you’ve ever consumed in your life, depending on exactly where you are right now, you will take in or ignore certain things. You filter the entire world through your past experiences, thoughts, and beliefs.
Right now, it still feels right to me to continue as I have been doing these past months. Just sharing my journey, watching it unfold, watching certain beliefs come & go, focusing on whatever I am called to. I haven’t yet seen exactly where this is going or why I have this incessant need to share all these different things, from the heart, from my place of truth, from my unique understanding as they unfold. Why I feel it’s so important to speak my truth as it is now – even if I disagree with it tomorrow, and even if it sounds ‘weak’ now, is missing a crucial piece of knowledge, or is ‘confusing’. That I’m somehow leading the path, or will be, by sharing who I am ‘on the journey’ rather than ‘at the end of the journey’.
That instead of coming from a place of “knowing”, I’m coming from a place of “learning”, and that this unique perspective someday is going to be what helps those lost souls who are unable to ‘get’ what the ‘guru’s who are already ‘there’ cannot reach them with… because they have moved ‘beyond’ being able to empathize with those who are still ‘behind’ on the journey. And that while I’m in this space of ‘learning’, that I am still ‘open’ to learning myself, that those who join the journey with me, are also sharing their learning, that we are transferring our knowledge and perspectives to each other, to help each other through the journey that we have now been awakened to, that we don’t yet understand but that is becoming more clearer the more we share and learn and connect with each other about it. That we are all equals, on the same journey to higher consciousness, complete healing of the body, mind, and spirit, and that we are all here to serve – we are all here to connect and help one another.
That ‘you’ with your unique experiences and perspectives and understandings so far, might have that piece of the puzzle that brings it altogether for me, or for someone else… ‘as you learn it’… as you too, are experiencing it.
Everything that I have been doing so far, seems to be connected to this somewhat. That instead of doing what made me so miserable before, that I’m being exactly who I am, speaking my truth as it is right now, and making those perspectives available to whoever finds it, and that your voice – your perspective – is just as important to those you meet and connect with on this journey.
My unique point of difference.. which goes against everything that I’ve been ‘trained for’ in my marketing experience.. actually seems to be unfolding.
So stay tuned, as I’m sure a clearer objective will be revealed when I am ready to receive it, and in the meantime, I will continue to do what I have been doing, listening to my, not ‘sitting on my hands’ or holding back, just sharing the things that are meaningful to me at this moment, and following my heart; my truth.
Free to be me… loving the journey.. and not apologizing today about the confusing messages that are coming out in my posts :) (including this one) .. because I think they will all make sense one day, that it will show the real step-by-step journey of ‘darkness to light’, that some of these posts will meet people “exactly where they are at”, and will be the exact thing they need to read at their stage in the journey.
I’m sure there are a lot more weirder and crazier blogs than mine.. hehe.
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