[IChing] Intimacy with the wrong person (Part 4)

IN Dark Night of the Soul

Read part one first


Never allow anyone to cross your boundaries of integrity
#51 > #27 5 6

How I interpreted/related: Sort of a “tut tut” from the IChing about my attraction to danger & anything ‘outside of the norm’ :) It’s agreeing in a way to my statement; to me it’s saying that if you know yourself, know your values, and stay true to your own values, and believe in yourself, that will result in peace of mind which enables you to remain calm and centred in any circumstance. That I went against my own principles in the confusion because I didn’t know myself/believe in myself, etc., and as a result experienced fear and hard times. To take care & take personal responsibility rather than pointing the finger at ‘another’ for crossing my boundaries – when I didn’t set any to begin with.


The more excessive & scary he got, the more I thought I needed to save his soul and face my fears.
#37 >#57 1 2

How I interpreted/related: Yep you fucked up because you couldn’t keep your composure when shit started to go down. Nevertheless, the shock did awaken you to facing problems within, and that even though it’s a horrible outcome, to stay calm, do the work, and one day you may laugh about it.


Was it Instant Karma?
#63 > #48 1 2

How I interpreted/related: It’s not instant karma, but everything it brought up still needs to be dealt with. Purify yourself, cleanse your internal being, and get back to your values. Don’t lose your focus.


How do you be friends with someone but not allow their attachment to you to become intrusive, how do you tell someone “Just Friends” when you can feel their keenness for more?
#49 > #58 2 3

How I interpreted/related: Someone else started taking an interest in me at this time and I totally didn’t want to deal with anyone but I didn’t want to hurt their feelings because they were very sensitive & I was already feeling crushed by human unkindness and didn’t want to be unkind to someone else, especially someone being overly-nice to me. They are saying to just be honest and sincere and stay light about it. Stay true to your values and don’t ‘cave’ just to try and keep another person’s ego from being hurt.


I’ve managed to turn off my feelings out of self-loathing? 
#57 > #18 5

How I interpreted/related: This was a question I asked about a video I did after realizing that I actually had ‘no feelings’. I was empty and disgusted with myself, started to see my ‘excessiveness’ and ‘upbeatness’ through other people’s eyes and was embarrassed/humiliated about it. I used to prize myself on uplifting others and all of a sudden I saw it ‘their way’ as being ‘disturbing’ & ‘unstable’ and lost my identity, will and purpose. It’s saying to persevere because at least I’m working on myself, I’m making progress, and that it will take time to adjust and stabilize from all that has transpired.


What is my blockage or barriers in my heart preventing me from achieving / wanting closeness with others
#6

How I interpreted/related: As I came to realize my solitude and not wanting to be around or talk with anyone, hiding from the world – not trusting myself or anyone else, I wondered if the IChing had any insights about this.
It’s again restating the need to find peace within. That we are drawn to explore ourselves through the interaction with others, and sometimes you learn things about yourself that could only come about when you cross your own boundaries/values – sometimes these encounters actually help you become aware of ‘what’ your values are. Now you know what’s important to you, you know more about yourself. Noone is to blame – each were listening to their own inner truth / doing what they felt was right, and now it’s time to just learn from it and move on. It’s also suggesting that ‘my way’ is not the ‘only way’. That it’s better to see what situations may entail before getting caught up in them & be more cautious in future. 


So, so wrong what he did
#7 > #44 3 4 5 6

How I interpreted/related: Guess I was having another finger-pointing day about the betrayal. It’s just saying that mistakes happen and you just have to learn from it. It’s saying you weren’t exactly a good leader because you weren’t ‘being’ the example either, and that these feelings being stirred up come from having expectations of other people to behave a certain way and not being diligent when things got bad. The “over-estimation of your virtues” statement is saying that “I wasn’t exactly an angel in this situation”. Get back to who you are and allow the good to outshine the remnants of corruption and negative results.


Is justice a human right? #51 > #19 2 4

How I interpreted/related: Calm down – stop panicking. Stop worrying about getting justice and focus on doing what’s right for you. You are confused and seeking a missing piece of the puzzle to get clarity, but the only way forward – the only way to get that clarity – is to free yourself of all entanglements with this and let things clarify in time when you’re no longer going through the crisis.


How will I get it back? (my heart)
#43

How I interpreted/related: You went against your own virtue because of your own sense of unworthiness and now you need to correct the root problem and survive through this. When you have done this, and have learnt to trust yourself and your intuition again by staying true to your own integrity, and focusing back on what’s ‘right’ for you, you will make a breakthrough.


How do I release the anger/pain/shame 
#24

How I interpreted/related: Re-attune yourself to the work – get back on course. You are making progress, have learnt lessons and exiled yourself from everyone whilst you return to who you really are. When you stray off the path, things will engage to bring you back to your path. Keep up the work, and keep bringing yourself back to who you are within.


How can I prevent him from continuing to damage my reputation?
#58 > #60 4

How I interpreted/related: Focus on higher-perspectives rather than the lowly ones.  


I can’t get myself pure again. I can’t see him as innocent. I’m trying to do what I feel is right. I can’t believe such a random decision has turned my world upside down. The shame I feel is unbearable and I miss seeing the good in people. I don’t know how to fix myself. I hate that I went from confident to victim-mentality. I hate that I feel like he did this deliberately, that someone has that kind of hatred within them where they could do that to anyone. I hate that I don’t see hope for his soul. I hate that its been over a year and I still can’t make it ok.  
#26 > #9 5
The time of difficulty is passing. Be confident that your modesty and gentle generosity can put past difficulties to rest. Situations may even be better now than before your troubles occurred. However, you must be alert and conscientious about keeping on the right path; temptations may appear. Choose high quality people to help you through.
How I interpreted/related: You’re nearly there. Stay true to the right path. “Yield not unto temptation.” Stick with people you can trust.


Can /Should I have hope for his soul?
#48 > #59 3 6

How I interpreted/related: It’s ok to hold space for the good in people.


This is going to get worse no matter what I do. This will always be the thing that tarnished my soul, is there no path I can take to correct the mistake?
#11

How I interpreted/related: Don’t worry, work towards peace & harmony. The bigger picture is more important than thinking of worst-case scenarios. Set the record straight with those who have drawn inaccurate conclusions about you. (No I did not do that, I kept silent.)


What is “his” inner truth about it?
#40 > #54 1

How I interpreted/related: You think she did you wrong, she thinks you did her wrong. When you feel ungenerous (mean), you are wrong in this case. Be sincere and humble. Make peace with strained relations. Be good-natured and you will regain your respect.


What is “my” inner truth about it?
#29 > #51 1 2 4 5

How I interpreted/related: A ‘dark night of the soul’ challenge that brings out all my undealt-with fears, vulnerabilities and weaknesses to overcome and learn from. Let go of the past-programming and install some upgrades. Death of the ego. 


I just don’t want this to be a continuous issue in my life, disrupting my life & my dignity
#64 > #35 2

How I interpreted/related: Go with the flow and project a positive future. 


How will I know when I’m aligned with absolute inner truth/ my soul’s wishes
#17 > #3 5 6

How I interpreted/related: By living your values and believing in the good inside each heart.  


Can’t just wave a magic wand and fix this? Step into another dimension?
#48

How I interpreted/related: Yeah-no. Just get your own self sorted and don’t require anyone else to be anything other than who they are.


What deficiencies do I still need to transform?
#50 > #48 4 5 6

How I interpreted/related: Be the change you want to see in the world.


Did I almost pierce / get through to his soul?
#52 > #64 2 3 4

How I interpreted/related: No, he is on his own path and even if it’s not good for him – you can’t do anything about it. Forget about it – you can’t fix him and that’s your own ego playing out a fantasy that you think anything you did helped him at all and your own ego trying to justify the situation because you are unhappy with how it played out.


What wisdom do I need to decontaminate
#20 > #9 1 2 3

How I interpreted/related: Caught up in just one experience instead of the abundance and infinite of all of life. Stop pondering other people’s motives – instead learn to observe where your own choices lead you.


What is the real problem?
#38 > #34 3 6

How I interpreted/related: Achieving the opposite result intended. Insecure friendship. Being misunderstood. Let it go and keep to your path. Stop overreacting and get in touch with your own truth, and when you find inner peace, that will permeate out to all your relationships.


He’s scared of me? I’ve been terrified of him for a year! How do I fix myself, my whole worldview has changed, I can’t trust myself – my beliefs – my intuition and trying to stabilise whilst still having to interact with him is so hard. I don’t know what happened. I feel so ashamed and humiliated and also responsible for my part in it. I want to have peace and harmony.
#63 > #37 6
A challenge is presented to you. You are at odds with yourself, and you realize that something must be done. Something is haunting you, but you must turn your back on the spell which entraps you. Keep your momentum and you will be safe. Your peace is in motion, not necessarily to some overwhelming goal, merely the intuitive motion which has enabled you to tread dangerous ground, like the ground now upon which you stand.
How I interpreted/related: This too shall pass. Work peacefully through this level of the game. Upgrade.


How do I stop feeling so disgusted in myself
#3 > #17 4

How I interpreted/related: Get help from trusted allies. Try and understand yourself and what you want.


Do I have to face him.. or?
#33 > #53 4

How I interpreted/related: No, follow your own path.


How should I see it
#5
Have faith in the natural order of things. Work on any insecurities that cause internal imbalance. Time reveals the answer. Everything is still up in the air so wait it out. Patience is a gift.
How I interpreted/related: Have patience and work on your own insecurities.

Best way to handle diversity, shadows, opposition at work
#33
Put distance between yourself and hostile forces on the attack. Hold back, withdraw and let the air clear. Like a distant mountain peak, keeping the demons at bay, you are not angry – you are reserved. Remain calm and dignified.

How I interpreted/related: Remain calm and stay out of their way.


Best way to put a stop to nasty gossiping at work
#43 > #39 1 2 4

How I interpreted/related: You can’t outwardly do anything about it and you need to keep the peace. You’re frightened but awareness and true humility is the right path.


How do I release my own fears and resistance around him?
#47 6 6

How I interpreted/related: Forgive yourself, get on with your life, continue being patient – it won’t always be like this. Care about yourself and others. No one can keep you bound unless you give them that power. Don’t lose sight of the bigger picture.


Harmony with Him
#11 > #34 4
Part of your personal magic is your ability to put people at ease-not just the people to whom you relate most naturally, but anyone crossing your path. There is something open about you and it makes contact with the human, unguarded part in the other entities you encounter. Be willing to share a moment, a feeling of life. Be a clear mirror in which others can see themselves. Don’t try too hard.
How I interpreted/related: For the first time the IChing suggests that it’s actually possible… I guess that’s a good sign. However none of these traits are what I feel in that environment anymore. The hexagrams also show #11 “Peace/Harmony” turning to “Great Power” (You have strength-the power to transform and evolve, but it must be released at the right time. Don’t be tempted out before the signs and conditions are favourable.). So I guess it’s saying that there may be harmony in future when the time is right and when I get my mojo back.


I wanted him to feel what it was like living a life without guilt and stress and worry, where anything was possible
#13 > #1 2

How I interpreted/related: I wanted him to experience my delusion of positivity I was experiencing at the time. It’s saying… yeah well, it’s nice to have good will and be a living example of what you want the world to look like, but that it’s a sure path to humiliation and regret to try and impose any self-serving egoic ideals into his world. I think it’s also breaking my illusion that this ideal way of looking at the world is even possible. :(


How do I make this right?
#3 > #61 2 6

How I interpreted/related: Shadow work (heal your past) / strengthen your own character. Get out of ‘self-pity’ mode.


This situation is my teacher
#2

How I interpreted/related: (Yes) Life is teaching you. Listen closely and observe the rhythms. Your perspective will be broadened. Always seek to make the best of the situation. Seek like-minds.


Why don’t I trust anyone?
#12

How I interpreted/related: Stick to your path and don’t give up. Stop wasting energy trying to change a situation that won’t change. Stay true to your values/integrity and don’t be tempted to sell your integrity for anyone’s favour. Remain pure. // It’s saying that I don’t trust because I compromised my own integrity and the way to trust again is to live true to my integrity.


None of this is making sense to me, how can I trust my own feelings
#6 > #57 3 4

How I interpreted/related: It’s saying that I can trust my feelings, I just got caught up in trying to please others who don’t have the same kindness in their heart. Get back to who I am instead of trying to change myself for a corrupted society.


So.. right in many ways, but should’ve withdrawn from that which felt scary?
#61 > #14 3 4 5

How I interpreted/related: “You must love in a way where each feels free”. I accepted him too much because I wanted to be a safe-space for him to have someone to trust to work through his own unresolved traumas, becoming especially ‘over-understanding’ when things got really scary. My over-caring was interpreted as over-bearing. I became too dependant on ‘saving him’ – and never considered that it would be interpreted in any other way than intended, but in hindsight… can see where strong is wrong.


What is the correct attitude
#10 > #12 1 2

How I interpreted/related: Detach from expectations and you will be free to be yourself. Take the path of least resistance. Stay on course.


I have no influence or confidence now cos I don’t know who to trust, even my own thoughts are vague, empty
#26 > #52 1 2

How I interpreted/related: Forced to hold back – there are times you can’t do anything; wait.


How to connect with my heart
#43

How I interpreted/related: Correcting the past, getting through this, living by my own virtue.


What insight am I not seeing in the decayed situation with co-worker?
#38 > #58 5 6

How I interpreted/related: Stop being an Ice Queen and remember the start of the friendship. Perspectives differ. It wasn’t a mistake to explore contrast, it was a mistake to change who you are. Find peace within, know yourself again. There are no enemies.


Get away from toxic people… or help them?
#33 > #24 1 3 4 5 6
Put distance between yourself and hostile forces
How I interpreted/related: Get away.

Penny (PennyButler.com)
Penny (PennyButler.com)

Who are we? What are we doing here? What is the meaning of life? Penny is a truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper down the rabbit hole. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, whilst providing a searchable archive to easily lookup and reference.

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