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Home • [IChing] Intimacy with the wrong person (Part 3)
Was he guided to me or me him because of our differences as an opportunity for both to evolve? #37 > #59 1 3
When forming relationships, there is a need to define roles so that each understands what’s expected. Over obliging is exhausting.
Line One: The father firmly enforces the rules that protect his family. No fault.
Wing: At the very beginning of relationships or endeavors, you establish firm roles and well-defined systems, then all will go well. Even occasions that might give rise to arguments will pass without remorse.
A. Put your house in order. Maintain discipline, define your parameters, and organize your priorities.
Line Three: Tempers are unleashed within the family. The father carries a heavy burden of guilt. If his wife or children taunt him, this will only perpetuate the cycle.
Wu: The principle is not abandoned. Proper conduct is violated.
Wing: A moderate path to establishing order in the situation must be found. A balance should be struck between careless indulgence and severe discipline. When in doubt, however, it is far better to be overly severe than to allow the situation to become lost in the chaos of indulgence.
How I interpreted/related: Here I’m asking whether this was karmic/cosmic law that put us together for lessons that needed to be learned (it was so unexpected). It’s saying that it wasn’t about that at all – we went into it blindly without stating our intentions for more than a few minutes and that both were trying to over-oblige to each other when it wasn’t right to begin with. If each is clear on what is expected, then there’s no cause for confusion, pressure to be something we’re not, or misunderstandings to form when things don’t go as each other expects. Basically – define your boundaries before getting intimate (don’t give your heart to someone who just wants to mess-around), make sure you’re both on the same page before rushing forward – even if you both intend it for fun, if that is not communicated clearly, then our ‘past experiences’ can taint what is going on as we each ‘expect’ the other to behave in a certain way (i.e. we were friends having fun but I still expected to be treated as a friend – with ‘friendliness’, respect and kindness, and that our communication would stay the same, but his idea of fun meant treating me like a whore, ego-boost from his allies, and making fun of me… kinda not on the same page). Neither of us were thinking of future negative-consequences and that’s how it spiralled out of control so fast.
Love & Non-Judgement #44 > #32 5 6
Don’t be too pushy about philosophy and values. Other people’s ideas are just as important as yours. You have met temptation and faced it down on your own terms. You have come away wiser, stronger, and lonelier, but more aware of yourself and your needs. You won’t be bothered when others criticize you for your self-imposed isolation because the honest way you have dealt with temptations has given you the freedom to be your own person.
Line Five: Keep this melon growing in the shade. It is a blessing from heaven.
A. Don’t meddle in a growth process — allow the situation to develop naturally.
Line Six: You lower your horns toward one who sincerely wants to become close to you. Your companion’s understanding will spare you any regret.
Wing: Even if you withdraw from an inferior element and reject it openly, it will still be there. You will be thought proud and aloof. It would be more practical and less humiliating to retreat quietly. Nevertheless, you are not to blame for your actions.
Editor: Line six meets line one on its horns — not as a direct attack as much as a petulant warning. (One is reminded of how an adult animal might nip or butt an importunate youngster in irritation, but with no real intent to inflict harm.) It’s an image of a harsh rebuff which, though impolite, is not necessarily unjustified.
E. A plausible (albeit regrettable) response to being “rubbed the wrong way.”
How I interpreted/related: Pretty much exactly the way it reads is very relevant.
Is he possessed by dark forces? #12 >#6 2
If flatterers appear to cloud your spirit with ego temptation, then you will see the true nature of the character you have developed. You will know the truth about yourself, if worldly temptations strike the vein of weakness in your heart. You would do better to realize your need for building character strength and for retiring from the worldly arena, than go on with your prepared outer-show. One compromise with your values now will lead to another until your life becomes a standstill.
You will now see how easy it is for people to trick each other. The flatterer and the one he flatters have an unspoken agreement. Of course, nothing real happens and everyone goes unfulfilled, but the gaudy material world-show holds the center of attention. There is no future for you in this kind of scene. It is against all your values. You must be faithful to what you believe now, even if the flatterers reject you. Eventually you will be respected and your wisdom sought after. Conflict is around you and exaggerated self-righteous feelings are the last thing you need. Realize that others follow their inner voices, like you do, and they will feel negatively about you if you judge them. Do you want someone to be your judge now? Using your gifts of willpower and discrimination humbly to help yourself will help your passage through days of conflict.
How I interpreted/related: Stay true to who you are, and don’t buy into temptation from others – even if you have to reject them. My “loving everyone” persona and not wanting any ‘hate’ in my life and wanting ‘everyone to be happy’ (avoiding conflict and avoiding hurting people’s feelings) – all of this was part of the play that I needed to realize was not how life is – stay faithful to yourself and your own values or you’ll enter the darkness of their world.
Relationships mirror your crap #3#43 2 3 4
Commitment makes anything possible. Exciting energy of opposing forces, wooing. Don’t pursue blindly = danger. Gaining union requires sincerity. Pursue path that leads to fulfillment. Don’t accept less . What you think you “need” externally is actually found within.
How I interpreted/related: It’s saying there are relationships that can be beneficial, but that this one was not one of those because there was no sincerity from the beginning and it was blindly pursuited. Only woo that which leads to fulfillment rather than the magnetic attraction of opposites if you want to avoid being harmed. If you think you ‘need’ someone else to validate your worth or ‘give you love’, or anything – that is unresolved shit within – that all you need is found at the centre of who you are, when you connect with your inner-self, your truth and live by your own values.
This conflict is here for me to adjust, and learn from, and helping me get where I need to be #53 > #52 5
While you make progress towards your goal, this can bring about opposition. You must continue to work diligently toward your aspiration knowing that keeping still and doing the work you will reach your goal.
How I interpreted/related: Yes.
What is the current obstacle to union that I need to work on #10 > #43 3 6
You are living in a dangerous world of illusion. You may have an exaggerated opinion of yourself which will lead you into serious complication. The whole concept of “treading” is very serious and should be done with maximum preparation and realistic analysis of your limitations. You seem ready to leave that behind to chase some phantom your ordinary mind has created. Your headstrong attitude could only be understood if you were taking a chance to help another to whom you feel responsible. Even so, you will be bitten by the tiger. Get in touch with yourself-now! You are going too far. Your strength and energy will push away the people you care for most as you reach for illusions of power and dominance. You have held too much negative inside and now it bursts forth like a spring flood. Water in and of itself is good, but in its excess comes death. Be careful not to assume too much and try to mold the world into your own shape. Be sensitive to the hearts of men–there the magic lies.
How I interpreted/related: I was living in a fantasy lala land where the world was full of potential and unconditional love was my mantra. I also thought that this conflict and confusion will pass, that our friendship would be restored when the miscommunication was cleared up and the trauma had passed. It’s saying that the ‘eggshells’ that we feel we are walking on, that resistance is there as a guidance system – that when you feel like you have to ‘pull back’ – then stop, pull back and look at the situation – going forward would lead to more trouble and danger.
How do you clear past life or karmic relationships? #33 > #15 4 5 6
Withdraw / remain modest. You must follow your inner voice now. The retreat you are in is natural and easy since you are relatively independent, but those who have formed neurotic attachments to you may become difficult. They attempt to make you feel guilty. Now you are the master of the fork in the road. Your way will be different from anyone else’s, and invariably difficulties will be left for those who, having lost touch with themselves, depend upon you for their identity. Be calm and confident as you choose and begin to travel your path. You are the master of timing, and a sea of troubles will be left in your wake as you retreat. On your left and right small entanglements slow your progress away from the world, however, you are in control. Not only will you rise above trivial concerns, but you will heal many of the wounds around you with the good humor and positive attitude for which you are known. Let your good luck find you now at the right time. Do it your way. Retreat has become a victory since trouble has been left to trouble. You are the master of freedom, at one with all you see and all you don’t see. The reward of being yourself and believing in yourself is now. Laugh at and with the world.
One timeless component of the material world and the reaction of human nature to it is misunderstanding. Though you have worked hard, suffered and sacrificed much, there is still something missing in your life. Just when you should see the breakthrough in the clouds, you see more clouds. Remember then, the one great law of our material plane is change. As the clouds gather and storm, so they will roll away toward the sea thereafter. Trust to the natural movement of events and you will see the realization of your desires. It has finally fallen together for you. Long lines of luck from your past have converged in your life now. Hard battles and doubts seem distant as you enjoy the moment’s calm. Your willpower can breathe easier for a time, having given so great an effort of late. Look about you. See the world for what it is-look clearly and objectively. Feel the sadness and hope, and look for your place in the time passages. Inside your heart is a song. Let life reveal itself in music and harmony-realize that it comes from inside you.
How I interpreted/related: I’m making progress but I still have more work to do if I’m still feeling angst towards him.
How to rectify? #38 > #34 3 6
Opposites. A situation confronts you which is extremely disturbing at first sight. Very probably it comes disguised as a people-problem. Some challenge to your whole nature has arisen, and you are under suspicion because of your very nature. Not being used to this state affairs, since you are usually respected and honoured for your efforts and opinions, you react in an extreme fashion to this upsetting of your equilibrium. You might want to rant and rave at the outward object of obstruction, or debate or explain in order to generate some kind of defence for yourself. Tone down. The problem begins and ends with yourself. If your responses to the situation seem aggressive and belligerent, you must cultivate detachment from the situation. You can’t be everywhere and everything for all people.
Let’s face it-you are a strong person known for your particular world-view. At times others may make assumptions about you, not necessarily fair or positive, on the basis of what they understand to be your nature. Misunderstandings happen in the world; even about someone with your generous character. Let it pass. Walk away from the turmoil with detached calm. Probably you will experience natural peace after the initial storm of static. Go with it. Above all, when dealing with opposites, cooperation is the key concept. You have much to learn and many possibilities yet to explore which pertain to this situation. Don’t sever yourself from your Tao.
Go beyond your limitations, as you stop worrying about others’. If you could accept people for what they are, you would open more doors for your own understanding. Wait actively and patiently for this time of testing to unravel itself. Static and hassles go out of control all around you. An uprising of bad karma invades your life from unexpected sources. Possibly something sincere you have done has been misinterpreted, and you have achieved the opposite result you would have desired. Your opposite is refusing to cooperate with you. This shows you how fragile your relationship is since it can be shaken so severely by suspicion and doubt. This is not really your problem, however, and you must let the situation pass. The pressure on your opposite will decrease, and he will begin to treat you well again. In fact, don’t be surprised if the very person who is now so difficult goes out of his way for you at a later date. That will be the good fortune of keeping to your path.
You will have to see through many veils now. There is a veil over your own mind which causes you to overreact defensively to many situations. In this case, you miscalculated the character of someone you will later find is a close companion to you. Oddly enough, that you will make this mistake is a positive sign that you are moving in your Tao. Now is a very good time to adhere to your source of inspiration.
Prayers and psychic insight will help decipher the confusing events of the days ahead. You achieve union with yourself now, and that influences all your other relationships. Your success is all but assured in spite of internal and external obstacles which subtly test you. The omen here is good for those who develop willpower. Without it, the misdirected strength you possess could cause upheaval and loss in your life. You have gone the right way. You are free of the past and in a balanced harmony where you stand. It is time to be creative and helpful. As you reach out and expand, look carefully at the people who cross your path. You will find a person who others have overlooked, and this person will enrich you with his understanding of life. Seeing your own truth through other souls has been your key to wealth all along. Remember that now you are in your golden days.
How I interpreted/related: That others don’t understand my world-view and that’s causing me to react to other people’s ‘reactions’ and judgements of me. Stop trying to be a people-pleaser, some people just aren’t going to like you and you can’t do anything about that. Misunderstandings happen and not everyone will see your side. Accept people for who they are and let it go. If he is refusing to cooperate with you -then it didn’t have a strong foundation to begin with (so why waste your time moaning about it or trying to ‘make it right’ when it clearly isn’t the right path). Keep living true to yourself and look carefully at others who cross your path.
Why he doesn’t even look at me – is it my end? #36
Darkness. You may experience many different kinds of challenges at this time. One of these might be in controlling yourself, since as things will become more confusing for you, you will be prone to overreact. Overreaction will only hold you back. Even if you say the right thing, chances are you won’t be appreciated. You will be dealing frequently with people and situations outside your normal routine and your best chance for safety is to be good to everyone-though you shouldn’t necessarily expect good in return. Fade into the shadows and let other people pass by, absorbed in their on shadow worlds. As you concentration self-development, you constructively redirect the strain of this time. Your talent may not be recognized, your true worth may not be valued. Constantly working at improving one’s virtues should prepare you to take action when favourable times come. Cultivate outward detachment and inward perseverance. When oppressive forces govern or affect your situation, maintain a low profile. It is auspicious to appear compliant. Yield on all non-essential matters. Keep your basic principles concealed and safely uncompromised.
How I interpreted/related: Be good to everyone but don’t expect them to be good to you.
What am I holding onto? #2 > #19 1 2
Be open to the blessing life has to give. You can be your own worst critic. Accept your nature. You are original and unique and this is what you have to offer. Have patience and tread carefully. Be straight and fair in your dealings. Learn to recognize what is forthcoming. You can alter the course. You will reap what you sow. Not that you believe “time heals all wounds”, but you know a wound is a time phenomena. If you listen closely enough to the rhythm of life, if you still yourself completely, you can receive clues to the destinies all around you. At times your own fate comes to your door–surprising but not unwelcome. In fact, you welcome the chance to see beyond the momentary phenomena of the everyday. You want to see straight to the heart, and time and again your horizons will be expanded. The grace you exhibit in dealing with challenging events wins you praise and respect, even and especially from the creative and unstable people to whom you react. Even someone who is attuned to most of life can miss the gathering of negative karma. Our gaze is turned and preoccupied and the small events and small signs of the day slip by. In the end we should have seen, should have known what was right there in front of us. For all your pride in your awareness, you are out of touch with your nature. Shocking hard times can come from such oversight. Life speaks clearly but softly to you now. Just being yourself is your greatest strength. You don’t seek material or psychological rewards–you seek only to know yourself and to learn about life. Other people defeat themselves with excessive tension and blind effort in the quest for worldly goals, but you remain an observer. You examine the great chain of events link by link. You solitary ways cause an internal alchemy and magic brings you good fortune and understanding in direct proportion to your apparent stillness. You have character. In this intense time when heavy vibrations seem to fill the air, you see other people’s needs and work unselfishly to help. You may have your own special needs fulfilled now as a by-product of your care and support for others. Everything you have become is highlighted now as you remember the long, painful road you have wandered. You have become someone special. Welcome responsibilities as potential building blocks on the road to self-expression. You will have power and the charisma to profoundly effect your immediate circumstance. You have prided yourself in your round-the-clock dedication to those who earn your respect. Now your vision will be expanded, as you are shown access to roads usually outside your focus.
How I interpreted/related: Stop being so harsh on yourself, stop being so cruel to yourself. You are unique and that’s ok. Be yourself. This has expanded your perspective and is helping you clear the roads to your path.
Is he evil?
#6 > #25 1 2
Take time to look inside yourself. Conflict is around you and exaggerated self-righteous feelings are the last thing you need. Realize that others follow their inner voices, like you do, and they will feel negatively about you if you judge them. Do you want someone to be your judge now? Use your talents to foresee trouble and avoid it. It is foolish to become embroiled in someone else’s wrong-headedness. Pass into the shadows. While the gossipers and malcontents waste their time on you, trust that all things will come to a fair conclusion and go on in peace. Good sense is your savior. A transformation is necessary. Your competitive and argumentative side must give way to a healthier, more accepting mind-set. Rise above the clamor of the masses and show good will to all those who touch you. Retreat, survive, and go beyond the disruptions of the time. Avoid temptation and become self-sufficient. Don’t aggravate the existing friction. Many misunderstandings and arguments can be avoided if we remain true to our inner feelings and reluctant to indulge in anger, self-righteousness, and supicion. Leave your emotions out of it. Nothing will be gained from continuing to challenge a stronger foe.
How I interpreted/related: You are judging him as evil because he didn’t behave the way you expect ‘good people’ to behave. Don’t worry about the gossipers. Keep going through your transformation, keep showing good will. Don’t rely upon or expect anything from others. Remain true and leave your emotions out of it. Be at peace.
Do I need to apologize to him? #39 > #36 1 5
Seeing trouble. Even though there is a problem you are encountering in your life at this time, the outward obstruction is less destructive to you than the negative quality of your inner thoughts. When your life is flowing smoothly, you take command and have a philosophy or attitude which brings out the best in you. However, the problem you now face is different and your old, fixed ideas aren’t working. This would be a good time to gain counsel from a respected source. Someone must advise you that the worry and confusion you feel will be easily dispelled, when you find a new and more appropriate path. Time, not force, will open the doors which must temporarily be closed. Action directed outward at this time may only compound difficulties, and looking inward with an eye to self-improvement holds the key. Since your frenzied mental state is fed by worry, any intuition you have is lost in the shuffle. Be still and let your worries settle. In that stillness the new inward and outward direction you need will reveal itself to you. The advice you gave others has proven helpful to them. The friends who love you best are never afraid to speak the truth, no matter how painful or difficult it might be. Analyze the problems blocking you rather than charging into battle. It is important not to fall into self-pity or cast out something/someone to blame. It is far better to reflect on whether the difficulty we face is in some measure of our own making. Hold back, restore energy and patiently await sunrise and continued progress. In dark times individuals of dark nature are often found in positions of authority – its not the time to oppose such people directly or even shine forth in defiance, since such action could lead to our being swallowed by the darkness. Conceal our inner light in order to prevail Cultivate outward detachment and inward perseverance. The obstacles are immense. Imperative to withdraw and get good advice. Ultimately you must rely on your resources, ethics, and convictions to achieve a substantive but delayed success. Take time to consider what is best and when.
How I interpreted/related: As I kept finding my own part(s) in the play, I wondered whether aside from going through the process of forgiving him and forgiving myself, whether I should also seek forgiveness from him too. It’s saying to hold back on that, and that if I rely on my own ethics, stay away from him, and keep working on myself, eventually peace may be restored.
All the pain I thought I felt in him, was actually my own projection of his pain?
Relationships need adaptability and commitment to last. Become resolute and strong as well as sensitive and responsive. When 2 people love and respect each other and work together with a united purpose, the relationship becomes self-contained and self-renewing. Inner gentleness and outer strength balance each other, creating a powerful and abiding foundation. In other endeavors, persist in strategies we know to be appropriate and ethical. Resist the temptation to try easier methods or to act with disloyalty and self-interest. Honesty and sincerity are constant companions. You are life. The days speak to you and the years are your silent teaching masters. Expect changes, near and far-reaching. Expect things to happen you never could have foreseen. You will grow in wisdom as your outdated material and spiritual skin is shed. Assistance will come if you spend some time with yourself in deep thought. Let all you have ever seen reveal the unifying mystery of life. Expect things to be trying and stressfully draining-this hexagram isn’t a ticket to Nirvana. Now, more than ever, appropriate hard work is the only answer to any question you can think of. Your inner values have long been consistent-try to be strong and generous in action and spirit. A curious path has led you to now. Study a broad spectrum of impressions and be what you will see.
How I interpreted/related: I used to think I was an empath – I used to feel everyone’s pain. As I kept doing the work on myself, and the pain started to turn into ’emptiness’ and ‘not feeling anything at all’, I wondered whether all the pain that I thought he was going through, that I thought I was helping ‘him’ with, was actually my own pain stemmed from my own wounds. It’s saying to become strong, yet responsive and sensitive. That relationships are based on mutual love, respect, honesty, commitment and sincerity. To keep learning from life. I’m not sure if it’s answering my question accurately or if it’s just a message saying that the pain I was feeling ‘from him’ was more that the friendship had no substance.
I can’t help anyone until I figure this out.
Being alert to danger. Meeting people halfway so both benefit is a good thing but be aware of people who might take advantage. Transparency is key. Any hidden agenda will bring harm. Watch out for weaker elements who appear harmless yet can undermine all your good work. Come to the meeting with what you are trying to achieve. When you believe you are in complete control, beware of concealed problems or hidden agendas. Do not become tempted, distracted or give an apparently innocent or charming person power they can use against you.
Keep perspective. Things are not what they seem. Rendezvous. There can be no meeting of the minds if both parties are not fully equal to each other and to the requirements of the situation in which they are to meet. Coming to meet – temptation. Encountering bad influences. Deception. Seduction. Addiction. Darkness gradually taking hold after the apparent victory of light.
The heavenly advice that we need to heed is that we must be on guard against unworthy people, influences, and habits. At this point these appear to be harmless, but if their influence is left unchecked, the negativity may swiftly and unexpectedly consume us and adversely affect those around us. Damaging sexual behaviour, gambling, drugs, unhealthy food, alcohol and countless other self-indulgences. The quietly gathering strength of these seductive inclinations take us by surprise, leaving us in a weakened state and vulnerable to exploitation.
You should be able to see right through the traps set for your ego, but since the ego is the human weak spot, analyzing situations could become complex. The easiest way to be manipulated is to allow flattery to influence your behaviour. You have laboured to be a good person, be responsible, be truthful, etc., and you must beware of how tenuous your progress is. This is the reason for the title “Propositions.” These propositions could be financial or sexual, and they could threaten the strides you have made. Succumbing to them in the short-term could be profitable, but allowing propositions to control your thoughts and self-image is potentially disastrous.
You are what you have made yourself-not what others tell you. Remember, attitudes toward you which swell your ego today could easily turn against you tomorrow, leaving you without basic sustenance to get you through when life and times get really demanding. In the face of unexpected uprisings, the best tactic to employ is honesty. This may lead you into a squall of disapproval, but it will quickly pass and you will see right through other people’s games. Turn that honesty on yourself and your own motivations, and you will be able to purify and direct that power you possess.
How I interpreted/related: It’s telling me how to figure this out. I kept on seeing him as “good” (everyone as “good”) and I did not see that the situation was bad for me in any way because I just trusted completely that everyone was ‘like me’ underneath their social-mask. This is telling me that I should be aware that some people have hidden agendas and to be aware that even if people look harmless, some may be able to destroy you. Be especially observant of those propositions that may damage your reputation or self-image, and be aware of those who ‘raise your ego’ as a game they play (narc’s). It’s also saying to stay honest and check yourself to see if you are stepping outside of your own integrity and boundaries; where you put yourself a position of being vulnerable to attack.
How do I get the power back instead of him holding all the power?
Naturalness. Spontaneous. Unpretentious. Being true to yourself, overflowing with kindness. Full of virtue, following your better instincts, life brings good things to you. This is not a good time to trust absolutely to your intuition. Rather, look around and see how the world is responding to your actions. If you are free of ulterior motives and the desire to manipulate others, then you will probably be looked up to by others for your spontaneous and original way of dealing with situations. They will see you as a sincere leader free of the hang-ups that dominate most people. In this case you have no choice but to live by the promptings of your inner voice. You might think you are doing the right thing, but see others dissatisfied with you. Inaction-don’t risk letting your ego pass itself off as your intuition and lead you into danger.
How I interpreted/related: I couldn’t breathe, I was living in a dark world where I felt like I couldn’t move without someone else attacking me. It’s suggesting that while I’m in this space, to be aware that I’m causing the world’s responses and reactions to my despair. To get over my hang-ups and not trust my intuition while I’m in this state because I could lead myself into more danger. Follow what feels right, don’t expect goodness from others, and get back to your natural self, the truth of who you are. Don’t do anything.
What is the optimal course of action to restore our friendship over the next 6 weeks #19 > #10 4 5 6
Create a safe atmosphere. Be open-minded. You have gathered good people who can make good things happen. Natural modesty combined with great beauty. Joy that springs from within but don’t indulge in pleasures. Respectful attitude and cheerful expression. What you have is needed by nearly everyone-the more you give the better this time will be. Show some “heart” (warmth, generosity, courage) in your dealing with others and you will have people who are “jewels” revealed to you. This is a good time to be worldly-wise and philosophically sophisticated. You would have to almost work overtime to destroy this natural, positive “approach” to the world. There is strength and good fortune in humility. The struggle in this material plane is so intense that we see progress as related to physical or spiritual aggression, yet when the gates are opened at the right time, blessings seem to flow through. The emptiness the soul feels when experiencing humility is more than filled by currents of power coming from the centre of all things. Many people go through what you are experiencing now. They become “owned by the world.” Fight for the simple, truthful pleasures for which your soul hungers.
How I interpreted/related: Calm down and get back to my cheerful self. Get out of the dark space and back to your positive, loving nature. Be more natural and humble (rather than a train-wreck). Create a safe space (don’t put the hostile walls up) and get back to your heart centre. Find the inner strength and blessings of life again.
I couldn’t understand how I was attracting/attracted to someone who was bringing to surface all my fears and undealt with childhood traumas, so many secrets with so much shame. Why did I get it into my head that he was brought to me to face my fears whilst helping him through his own inner turmoil? And why did I flip from ’empowered’ to ‘needy’? #4
Time to grow up, listen to wisdom and not be fooled again. Inexperience can make you blind to many things. Recognize your limitations. You may be called to guide one younger or less worldly than yourself, in which case you must cultivate within yourself patience, thoughtfulness, and consistency, and within your pupil sincerity and a willingness to learn. Should your student prove to be incapable of receiving instruction at this time, you can at least allow your kindness to provide the student with a fine role model.
How I interpreted/related: Because I had never been this person before (my new self) or with someone like this before, that I was totally blind and lacked the experience and hindsight-wisdom to deal with it. It’s so spot on with the ‘called to guide a younger one’ and that’s how I felt at the time, but it’s also saying that the ‘student’ didn’t have a willingness to learn. It’s saying that what I should’ve done is ‘been the example’, rather than ‘become what I thought he needed most’. I also took this as ‘we should not of been intimate’. I went into it with a willingness to help, and became helpless myself because we became intimate. If I had kept my original intent and resisted temptation to have my own spontaneous needs met when it was offered, then this wouldn’t of transpired the way that it went. “Hindsight wisdom gathered”. #LessonLearned
How can I be happy and confident with what happened, how do I make it ok? #62
Don’t try to fly so high (“Less & Near” are better than “More & Fear”. One is unable to meet the demands of the situation, suggested by the powerful being contained by the weak. Excess prevents achievement. Engage only in activities in which we are competent. Cooling out – less obsession, desire, and willful scheming. Probably you have felt the temptations to “go for it”. Possibly you have felt confident in your abilities and talents lately, but this is a time for a gathering inward of your energies. Just be content to stick to your path and don’t be surprised if people feel temporarily alienated from you.
Gone are the broad, sweeping, larger-than-life ideas which recently fired your spirit. Now you must be master of your own ground. What are your duties, responsibilities, and appropriate roles within your social structure? Once you get yourself under control with the right adjustments, you’ll find that there are many successes waiting for you. Conserve your words and make them count when spoken.
People may look at you as a bit of an eccentric or social disappointment, and the truth of your new self is something you won’t be able to explain. “Cooling out” requires humility-the humility which suggests you establish order in yourself-not by excessive discipline or asceticism, but by the merging of yourself with greater stillness-the stillness in which the human condition can be seen and shared. One’s virtue can help overcome difficulties.
How I interpreted/related: Don’t try so hard to get “high/happy”. Get grounded. It’s talking about how I was recently about to launch my biz and was fired-up to travel. I had passion and motivation and all was lost and I wanted it back. It’s saying that its not the time now, and it’s not important now, that whats important is to find my centre. Not “go for anything” or try to be happy or try to make it OK. That I’m in a manic, fearful state and I need to be patient and just step towards my path rather than making any big changes right now.
What happened, what was it all about? #46
Growth. Advancement. Streamlined Friendship. 2 People find out why they came to this blue planet. First, you need to cultivate humility with regard to your expectations. Second, you must consult with someone whom you respect. Third and finally, you must realize the absolute power of your will at this time.
You can make the good you desire come about through personal dedication to what you want. Quiet confidence and faith are the strongest ingredients in the situation and you are probably already experiencing these.
We are counselled to cultivate our willpower and self-control, since the only possible obstructions currently are those that arise internally, such as pride and idleness. Don’t get distracted by emotional euphoria that might fill your head at odd moments. Keep your feet firmly planted on the ground and attend to the business of being ordinary. Stay in tune with events as they occur, without getting ahead of yourself.
An extraordinary timing has been at work in the events that have transpired to create the current situation. In retrospect it will become clear that many things you never planned or expected were instruments of a grand design that has brought you to the present circumstance. Be supportive when others come to you for guidance. Drop any hesitations or doubts that might threaten to hold you back; they will be out of sync with the present reality. Indulging in doubtful thinking would send a message that you’re not ready or willing to receive what is being given to you. When others sense your reluctance they are apt to withdraw – doubts are infectious. Take care to maintain balance within yourself and in your relations with others. No need to push the river – it’s already moving swiftly and you can enjoy the ride.
How I interpreted/related: Still trying to understand how this could happen. How could just one friendship going so wrong turn my entire world and beliefs upside down. How could one random event affect me so much? I was still trying to gain answers to that because nothing seemed right, nothing made sense. It’s saying that it was instrument of grand design in the way that this situation allowed us to level-up. I had too many expectations that I would always be welcomed because I was a friendly and over-loving person, and had sacrificed myself for this. It’s saying that the sacrifice was not really something I was supposed to do and that my over-loving was more ‘manic’ and scary rather than ‘in alignment’ or natural. That the support and guidance I was offering him was tainted with my own hesitations and doubts from within, that when I became fearful, my energy did not match my words and he could pick up on my change in energy and started also getting doubts and fears and withdrew, and I was picking up his energy and our combined fears and doubts were contagious. That I wasn’t balanced, I was pushing it along and striving forward which is not enjoyable for anyone. That my pretending (although I was actually thinking this was my role.. but it wasn’t honest).. so when I was pretending that everything was ok so as to gain his support and trust, even though I was in absolute turmoil within about what to do about the things that were coming up, that I became manic/PTSD and not grounded. Yet because of all this undealt with trauma, all is not lost – this unfolded as an opportunity to advance myself – to deal with the undealt with – that the terror that I was experiencing would finally get dealt with instead of being constantly hidden in my subconscious and suppressed – that this is how the world balances itself – order from chaos – this encounter provided the opportunity to advance/evolve.
Why didn’t my instincts stop me, why didn’t I see what was happening?
#15 > #23 3 6
Life is a learning experience. You should have fun and make your human interaction suit your needs and moods. Sometimes you may present yourself in an assertive way, but if you are truly modest about life, it will radiate through and people will feel the who that you are. In “Modesty” things take time-one of your greatest strengths is a humility connected with time. You believe that what should happen will happen, with your gentle and determined guidance. You probably have some long term goals, whether they are related to people or projects or whatever, and they will get done, because you have faith. Faith is another sign of modesty-faith in your talents or personal gifts, or faith in other entities or inspirational sources-these make the true miracles of life happen.
There is a sincerity factor in this hexagram. You will be called upon by fate to reveal the simple and truthful feelings about situations. These will come naturally at the most appropriate moment. Perhaps you will be caught off guard, but go with the flow. You are a person who can deeply effect people and situations with a timely word or emotional sharing. Be modest enough to love yourself. You are a special person and most everybody seems to know it. It is possible that you achieve worldly success easily, or just that your whole approach to life in general seems successful-in either case the only danger is being swept away in the ego-flood.
People may treat you deferentially, but you won’t be pulled far off your humble path. You will turn outward success into inward encouragement, and this will validate your modesty in the eyes of other entities. There is magic in life for you to feel and touch-it is everywhere and will transform your spirit-modesty is the key.
>> CHANGES TO >>> Split Apart
One after another, complications obstruct your path: too many people, responsibilities, pressures, and distractions. You need to withdraw and get away. Even if it is within your mind. The trouble outside you isn’t as aggravating as it seems-you are irritable. Stress and anxiety may have sapped your emotional strength and recuperation is necessary. Fuel your own regeneration by cultivating a more disciplined acceptance of life. If you are true, you are safe in “Collapse.”
How I interpreted/related: I didn’t see it happening because you don’t know everything in life until you’ve experienced it. It’s through experience that you learn. That we were too assertive instead of allowing things to unfold naturally. That even though I felt like I loved myself, I actually had a lot of self-esteem issues which my ego was trying to cover unsuccessfully. I felt limitless at the time, so filled with passion and inspiration, that it ‘got to my head’ and that a modest approach to life is less arrogant and more balanced. That stress and anxiety surrounding everything that was going on at the time, at the same time as this situation, sapped my emotional strength to deal and I needed to recognize that I needed to take care of myself, slow down, and recuperate when things started to get out of control, rather than trying to keep my head above water as I was drowning in the situation.
How will I identify an honest attraction? How do I know if I like someone if the feeling within me is wrong? #6 > #5 1 2
Avoid confrontations and forcing things. Pursue inner goals and understand fate. Leave your emotions out of it. Avoid temptation and become self-sufficient. When you find peace within, you’ll find peace all around you. Happy with your own company. By not reacting to the attacks on you – you defuse.
How I interpreted/related: By the way, none of these readings I actually “believed” at the time – I only came across the IChing in the middle of this crisis and although I cherished the benevolent wisdom, I didn’t ‘trust my life with it’ or take it’s advice in totality. It’s only in hindsight that I read all these answers and recognize that it was very wise advice that I could’ve trusted. (So if you’re wondering why I keep asking similar questions it’s because I still had a different mindset – that I could trust my feelings and that I was in-the-right in loving everyone unconditionally even to the detriment of my own soul). Anyway, this question was saying – well if I can’t trust my feelings, how can I navigate the world? It’s answering – that I was forcing things by going with my emotions instead of bringing in some logic. It’s saying to avoid temptation (that instant magnetic attraction we had was my own ‘worthlessness’ feeling within) and become complete in myself (the full bowl analogy, not ‘needing’ or expecting anything from others). That once I had found peace within myself, that my life would be peaceful. To be happy within myself. Happy to be alone, not seeking anything outside of myself. (Then you are coming to the party with something to share/offer, rather than ‘taking’ or ‘needing’ anything from others.. that some of our emotions that we think is love or attraction, is actually our own sensors within seeking an outside source to complete what is incomplete within)
So this urge I have to repair our friendship, is more of a warning – something scrambled with my brain?
#59 > #29 6
Bleeding profusely. Leave, go far away and be safe. Destruction and injuries everywhere. Leave and start over. You can’t always fulfill the expectations of others. Sometimes you have to do your own thing.
How I interpreted/related: Don’t even try to repair the friendship. Get away from here. Do your own thing. (ouch. lol).
How do I trust people again?
Persuasion through honesty and sincerity. Foresight. Trusting obedience to our guides. Guard your conduct. Setting a correct example to those inferior to you. A humble heart and a tolerant attitude.
How I interpreted/related: By being honest and sincere. Foresight that not everyone is being honest and sincere. Trusting the gut feeling we get (instead of forging through it lol) Being modest. Staying true to your own level of integrity.
Do I need to be angry with him, deliver justice, or just learn from my mistakes how other people react to me?
#32 > #54 1 3
You are life. The days speak to you and the years are your silent teaching masters. The one great law of this material plane is restless change. Expect changes, near and far-reaching. Accept things to happen you never could have foreseen. You will grow in wisdom as your outdated material and spiritual skin is shed. Assistance will come if you spend some time with yourself in deep thought. Let all you have ever seen reveal the unifying mystery of life. Expect things to be trying and stressfully draining-this hexagram isn’t a ticket to Nirvana. Now, more than ever, appropriate hard work is the only answer to any question you can think of.
Your inner values have long been consistent-try to be strong and generous in action and spirit. A curious path has led you to now. Be strong, but be realistic. So many times it has been suggested that the young tree can survive because of its flexibility in destructive storms; this is such a case. Remind yourself that everything takes time and more time. If you use psychological turmoil as an excuse to hurt yourself and others, then you are treading a path of increasing darkness. No matter what strange forces tug at your heart, you’ve got to remember who you are and why you came to this life. You have always felt the lack of material roots to make you emotionally secure, yet you might toss away something irreplaceable impulsively and wastefully. Don’t do it. Remember who loves you.
This is a good time to relax consciously, especially in the area of desires. The need for outward approval is natural to our race, but we needn’t be slaves to our psychological inadequacies. Avoid large and empty promises as they foolishly reveal weakness. Achieve strength through individuality, as you make the wise decisions based on lasting principles. This line indicates a need to be humble, as well as strong. Spark of light in a wide, dark eternity. Learn to say goodbye. You are lucky to have lived. Everything comes and goes in its proper time and place. All around you, change. The enduring present belongs to you. Be careful, sensitive and skillful in all you do for enduring results.
Beware of conflicts that may entangle you. One is involved with others since one is useful which is due to an unspoken need of others. One has to understand that one’s position is somewhat artificial and so must do the expected. One should be austere (stern) in conduct. When something is just starting, it is harmful to impose the burden of permanence on it. Do not needlessly rush things. Do not employ force, except with deliberation and good cause. Enjoy this for what it is. Relationships of convenience rarely become substantive or serious. Most problems can be overcome with kindness, affection, or consideration. Pursuing this interest in spite of the obstacles can lead to difficulty and disappointment.
How I interpreted/related: Made me wonder how many people are in jail because another’s ego was burnt or because of pride. It’s basically saying that the problem came about because I was expecting him to not betray me and of my own needing of his approval & respect, rather than any of the secrets that came up. That I don’t need to deliver justice, just learn about my own weaknesses. That this was an artificial friendship based on convenience, and that it was my expectations that this was a friendship of substance that caused the negative feelings from my own being to surface when that was revealed. To be aware that if I take the path of delivering justice, it will make things worse.
Who are we? What are we doing here? What is the meaning of life? Penny is a truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper down the rabbit hole. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, whilst providing a searchable archive to easily lookup and reference.