Welcome to my musings & notes. I am interested in broadening my mind beyond what is known, and studying who and what we really are. Current phase seems to be transcribing channellings from various sources. Feel free to browse or use the search box for topics of your interest.
Home • [IChing] Intimacy with the wrong person (Part 2)
How I interpreted/related: I think I wanted to know if you could trust the ‘love’ feeling you get with people, that if I couldn’t trust it – what ‘was’ that feeling, was there really a ‘love’ emotion that means ‘love’, or was it some kind of cosmic lesson, or wound. The answer is speculative and open to different interpretations but I took it to mean that there is a love that is benevolent & transcends time/space and is positive if you are true to yourself, sincere, pure, and have clarity – not when it’s ‘not those things’.
I humiliated myself and that was the main thing I need to know to move on? #2 > #46 2 3
Lonely in a crowd of thoughts. Just being yourself is your greatest strength. You don’t seek material or psychological rewards–you seek only to know yourself and to learn about life. Other people defeat themselves with excessive tension and blind effort in the quest for worldly goals, but you remain an observer. You examine the great chain of events link by link. Your solitary ways cause an internal alchemy and magic brings you good fortune and understanding in direct proportion to your apparent stillness. You are very passive about the world’s ego rewards. Good fortune comes from a conscious holding back in the face of potential praise and flattery.
You need to let the world pass you–even underestimate you. All your personal evolution will be tested at the appropriate time, when you step from the shadows with your gift of life in hand. Before that moment, you must be free of the entanglements which come with superficial social interaction.
The true leadership of your project has been grabbed or lost by people who rely more on their egos than the finding of proper direction.
You haven’t exercised your leadership or brought out the leadership in others properly and now, as a result, the fate of the project hangs in the balance. Restore order by burying old negative feelings and look through the ghosts of unfulfilled wishes. Get yourself together here and now and the future will take care of itself.
Line Two: Straight, square, and true. By being instead of doing, nothing is left undone.
A. Suggests receptivity to experience. Life unfolds — flow with it.
B. The laws of nature are constant and unchangeable; they are the permanent matrix within which occurs all change. Allow the situation to develop at its own pace.
Line Three: Hide your brilliance. Feeling no threat, they won’t resist the completion of your goal. All you lose is credit for the accomplishment.
Wing: Leave the pursuit of fame to others. Concentrate, instead, upon doing the best job possible. If you conceal your talents now, you will develop naturally, without interference. The time will come later for you to reveal yourself and your good works.
A. Subdue your ego and let the Self attain its purpose.
B. The image suggests that you may be trying too hard — stay in the background and let the Work unfold naturally.
How I interpreted/related: It’s saying that the main knowledge I need to move on is being more of an observer and true to myself. Realize that others are not like me, don’t think like me, are more materialistic and care more about their social reputation. To not be that, and not dwell or get caught up in thoughts about what others think. It’s also saying to not worry about my ‘personal revolution’ or my websites and things that I was gearing up to do, for the moment, to instead allow life to unfold – & use this time to focus upon freeing the entanglements within. It’s also reminding me of how I handled the situation poorly – that by not staying true to my values – I allowed them to walk all over me. That I never set my boundaries to say “this is not ok”, instead went with “what they wanted” thinking it was the right thing to do, and it backfired. With the ‘look through the ghosts of unfulfilled wishes’ advice, I take it to mean that I need to look at my ‘expectations’ and ‘attachments to the way I think things should be’, to do the inner-work on myself where I don’t expect anything other than what is.
14:14 #20 > #23 5
Looking at what you do and its affects allows you to fix what is not working. Each moment and all you meet are a reflection of how you might grow.
How I interpreted/related: Again reiterating the need to see others and any ‘triggers’ as a mirror to your own inner work that needs upgrading.
By going forward against my own resistance / fears / feelings, I placed myself in a situation of humiliation and everything I have been going through since has been my ego wanting to rectify the situation? #56
All is wandering. The planets and stars go their way loosely confederated by gravity pin the truth of dark, cold space. Possibly you are drifting through these incarnations now. Are you dreaming while awake? Something is happening to you in the hours before morning when you are already up and watching dawn of the new day. You are deep in your Tao, but the stranger is a stranger to himself. Your identity is your lack of identity. Don’t be surprised if there are two people in you now-the familiar face that comes and goes through the world, and another face, perhaps one you don’t even know yet. The secret of the nomad is that he isn’t there at all. He is the sound of horses fading and the smell of towers burning. The nomad is the wind made flesh, the stranger with the changing face. Let the situation coalesce around you. Take something from every moment. It’s all you, right now. Another interesting facet of being “the wanderer” is the broad scope of life you will experience. While others tend to root in one spot and fully integrate with their surroundings, you tend to be at home everywhere and nowhere. Many religions, philosophies, moral inclinations, pleasures, and struggles will reveal themselves to you. In spite of the variety with which you are dedicated to spicing your life, there will be feelings of melancholy and dissatisfaction which tempt you to doubt your path. In the end the doubts won’t matter. What matters is the positive attitude you must wear like a cloak to ease your journey and to ensure safe passage for “the wanderer.”
The Superior Person waits for wisdom and clarity before exacting Justice, then lets no protest sway him. Find satisfaction in small gains. To move constantly forward is good fortune to a Wanderer.
How I interpreted/related: Here I’m trying to discern all the resistance and fears I felt during this time. I was terrified but I boldly pushed through my fears thinking that’s what life wanted me to do. By going against my own resistance, I ended up humiliating myself, and my reputation was tainted. The IChing is saying that the world is a place of wandering, exploring, it’s all a journey and a transformation. That I’m in-between a large transformation and that I don’t know my “new” self yet as it’s still being uncovered and that all of life is a series of experiences, that every moment is an opportunity to learn, that’s how we get a broad scope of life. It’s saying that I love to explore ‘newness’ and sometimes by exploring newness, and the path less-travelled, I am going to get some experiences that are less than pleasant, that will ultimately make me doubt my decisions/choices, beliefs & intuition. But that’s what life is about – at least for me, that I love being an explorer, and ever-levelling-up from where I am, gaining new and broader perspectives as life teaches me.
Why is it taking so long this time to get stable? #6 > #53 2 3 4
Good sense is your saviour. A transformation is necessary. Your competitive and argumentative side must give way to a healthier, more accepting mind-set. Rise above the clamour of the masses and show good will to all those who touch you. Retreat, survive, and go beyond the disruptions of the time. Your world will move and flow more smoothly if you let all things go their own way. You are fortunate now, not because you are richest or most fashionable, but because there is something inside you which is exclusively yours-a positive personality, good values, and humility put you ahead of the rest who compete for smaller prizes. Relax and wait for your fortune and luck to guide the way. In a way you could gain quite a bit through argument and struggle, but the gains would be losses instead. Transform and regenerate your outlook! Turn away from limited and ignorant influences and look inside yourself. You will learn from observations about life, if you think with a peaceful heart.
Line Two: Knowing his comrades would be annihilated against their much stronger foe, he orders a full retreat, retires into seclusion, and is condemned by the very neighbours he saved from ruin.
Wing: Your adversary is superior in strength. Do not allow your pride or sense of honor to draw you into open Conflict. Retreat and you will avoid a disastrous outcome for yourself and those close to you.
Editor: “Discretion is the better part of valor” — there is nothing to be gained by fighting a battle you cannot win.
Line Three: He stands on his integrity, no matter what ill winds may blast him. Stand or fall, in the end he will remain exactly who he is.
Wing: Keep a low profile. Stick to established methods and traditional virtues. Do not put yourself in a position of prominence whatever you imagine to gain in prestige. Material possessions and status mean nothing now. Only your inner worth will be of value to you.
Line Four: Realizing the very root of conflict lies within his own heart, he lays down his arms and resolves to accept the things he cannot change.
Confucius/Legge: He does not fail in doing what is right. Blofeld: Provided we submit to heaven’s will, peaceful determination will enable us to win through. Wing: You might see where you could improve your position by engaging in Conflict with a weaker element. The fact is, though, that you cannot gain inner satisfaction from such strategies. Returning to a sense of dignity and inner worth coupled with an acceptance of your fate will bring you peace of mind and good fortune.
How I interpreted/related: I kept thinking I will be ‘fixed’ within days or weeks, but as the weeks turned into months and as time kept passing where I still felt insane and unstable, I wanted to know why ‘this time’ was so hard. It’s saying that this transformation was necessary and that I need to be more accepting and keep looking inside myself with a peaceful heart rather than being ashamed that I can’t seem to ‘get stable’ (therefore keeping me in a place of ‘not yet stable’). I needed to change my attitude and relax a bit. It’s saying that I went through something massive – a betrayal that ended in me having to retreat and that fighting it will bring no benefit. That I’m better to stand on my own integrity and live by my own values, and focus on my inner-worth. To keep ‘doing what I feel is right’, trust in life, & not do anything else that I feel “bad” about or may live to regret later. That his reputation is too strong in the world and around my own allies for me to clear my name and so secluding myself from them and their ignorance, and staying true to my own ‘being’ even if noone ever finds the truth about me and even if I never get to redeem my own honour, that ‘being’ my own values & living within my own integrity, is the only guidance I need follow for this transformation to take place more smoothly.
Why am I having trouble letting this go? #39 > #60 1 2
Willingness to see all sides of the misunderstanding. Wait for the proper time to advance. The obstruction is a perfect opportunity to pull deeper from your inner resources which couldn’t of happened otherwise. Your integrity is at stake.
Line One: Advance will meet with opposition; Remaining in place will meet with praise.
Confucius/Legge: The proper course is to wait.
Wilhelm/Baynes: Because it is right to wait.
Blofeld: This passage stresses the advantage of waiting for some time.
Ritsema/Karcher: Proper to await indeed.
Cleary (2): It is best to wait.
Wu: This means that waiting is in order.
Legge: Line one is magnetic in a dynamic place. If she advances she won’t be able to cope with the difficulties of the situation, but will be overwhelmed by them. Let her wait for a more favorable time.
Wing: If you have met with an obstacle in your path, do not attempt to overcome it. Instead, pull back from the situation and wait out the trouble. You will know the right moment for action when you can move with ease.
A. “Don’t go there” — “Wait and see.”
Line Two: He stoically faces trial after trial, knowing his loyal labours will benefit another.
Confucius/Legge: In the end no blame will attach to her. Wilhelm/Baynes: But in the end there is no blame in this. Blofeld: This indicates that we shall be free from blame to the very end (or in the end). Ritsema/Karcher: Completing without surpassing indeed. Cleary (2): In the end there is no bitterness. Wu: He will make no error in the end.
Wing: Because you serve a larger cause, whether you realize it or not, you are obligated to meet Obstacles head on and overcome them. Even though this is not advisable in ordinary affairs, this is the proper approach for extraordinary causes. You will not be blamed.
A. Cope as best you can with arduous circumstances. The Work is more important than you are.
How I interpreted/related: I’m living in resistance because on the one hand I don’t want conflict or trouble with anyone, on the other hand, I am really hurt and feel betrayed, my reputation tarnished, and life has spiralled in the opposite direction of everything I had planned, everything I stood for was ‘on the line’, and there were so many secrets that I can’t share. I felt suppressed and suffocated, and then at the same time, I’m also going loopy trying to figure it (and the universe and all of my spiritual beliefs) out, as well as dwelling into past trying to take responsibility and smooth out my own past-crap. It’s telling me to keep looking at it from all sides. That this process is actually not a mistake, it’s perfect for the transformation taking place. It’s also saying that I’m having trouble letting it go because my integrity was at stake (ego/pride) – and noone likes that lol. It’s saying that rather than ‘trying to force myself to overcome it sooner’, to keep being patient with the process, to just wait. It’s also saying it’s my path to overcome obstacles and that the work is more important than my ego-sacrifice.
What do I need to repair what has been spoiled? #51 > #22 3 4 6
Some people are so deeply merged in selfish thinking that nothing can wake them up from their prison. Do what is right for you. Once you can settle your fear and return to your own centre, you will know which is the proper course to take. Too much time focusing on how others view you or what they are doing is not a fulfilling way to live.
How I interpreted/related: Another reminder to do the work, do what’s in alignment to me, and to not focus on how other people view the situation. That my job is not to wake them up, it’s to find my own way out of this prison.
What am I learning from this? #18 > #64 3 4
Your electricity is very active at this time. The change you have undergone of late is reflected in your extreme behaviour. Your changes have startled those around you, but you can’t even stop to explain. You might grate on some nerves for a time, but your intense movement will be understood and appreciated in the future. Keep in mind the old saying, “Today is the first day in the rest of your life.” Cultivate your sincerity because it will partially deflect the negative feelings your bluntness might be causing. Stay humble. This is a bad time for you to be resting or feeling self-satisfaction. You are headed for a fall. It may be because you are over-tolerant with your own weakness or because you are too past conscious. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that you are going in the right direction or that things will magically work out-they won’t, and, unless you put some energy into contacting your higher-self (intuition, prayers, or inspiration) for the direction you need you are going to experience a difficult time. Watch out for the “Blues” and weakness of the will as warning signals telling you that you are misguided.
Line 3:// Siu: The man proceeds too energetically in correcting past errors. This results in some discord and distress. But a trifle too much energy is preferable to a trifle too little, and no great blame will ensue.
Wing: You are anxious to rectify the mistakes of the past and move vigorously into the future. Your actions may be hasty and you will be judged inconsiderate by others, but in the end you will not suffer for it.
Line 4:// Confucius/Legge: If he advances he will not succeed.
Wing: The situation has been less than harmonious for quite some time, yet this condition of discord has been tolerated. Under these circumstances things will continue to degenerate.
A. Passive indulgence in an old weakness leads to failure.
B. You think things are OK, but they’re not: rectify a past error.
How I interpreted/related: It’s telling me that I’m learning sincerity, humbleness, inner strength, patience and overcoming vulnerabilities. It’s saying to get in touch with my higher-self/inner-truth/intuition for direction. It’s telling me that I’m focusing too much on trying to correct past errors attempting to ‘fix this all quickly’ and to keeping working through my weaknesses and not try and force a preferred ‘outcome’ before doing the work.
#18 > #64 3 4
Hasty correction of humiliation. Codependency/giving your power away. Better to rectify the situation and speak up.
How I interpreted/related: Stop trying to force-fix this. Stop giving your power away to someone else. I think it’s also trying to tell me to speak about what happened (but I didn’t).
How would I do that? He has barbed wire wall around him #9 > #64 1 3 4 5
The obstruction emerged because you were on the wrong path. It is more important to return to your nature, rather than use force to obtain that which isn’t right for you. All is unfolding as it should and the situation will align you to your inner truth. Step back and allow space for others to work through their own issues. Confidence is key to breaking through to a good outcome. No need to be cautious/fearful, when you are sincere about what you are doing. Confidence/sincerity – when partners are truthful to each other.
Line One: He turns back to his proper course. No harm done. In fact, good fortune comes of this return.
Wing: In forcing your way, you meet with obstacles. It is best to hold back to a position where you have the choice of advance or retreat. Then you may concern yourself with the true nature of the situation and react accordingly.
Anthony: In taking hold of the problem, we adopt an either-or attitude, to force some sort of conclusion. This impatience springs from desire and our ego’s attempt to dominate the situation. This is doomed to failure. It is best to return to the path of acceptance and modesty.
A. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Restrain your compulsive need to act. Don’t exceed your authority.
Line Three: The spokes burst out of a wagon wheel, stopping the couple’s journey. The man and wife waste time and energy blaming each other, causing major damage to their love instead of fixing the minor damage to the wagon.
Confucius/Legge: Line three is like a husband who cannot maintain correctly his relations with his wife.
Wilhelm/Baynes: When “man and wife roll their eyes,” it is a sign that they cannot keep their house in order.
Blofeld: Disorder reigns within the house.
Ritsema/Karcher: Not able to correct the home indeed.
Cleary (2): They cannot cohabit.
Wu: They cannot maintain proper relations.
Wing: The opposition appears minor and advance seems possible. Yet the situation is not in your control. If you insist upon forging ahead confidently you will be defeated by no end of annoyances. This has a most undignified appearance.
Line Four: By gaining confidence, the man keeps control of the conflict, avoiding the blood that could be spilled by fear. No mistakes.
Siu: The man follows the path of righteous flexibility, thereby eliminating anxieties and averting the dangers of bloodshed. He is always mindful of the question: what if you are wrong?
Wing: If you are honest and sincere and influence others with the correct advice, you can avoid existing and terrible dangers. Fear and anxiety will give way only to truth. Then no error will be made.
Line Five: His sincerity is the cord that binds the hearts of others to his. He holds wealth who holds the hearts of others.
How I interpreted/related: I mistook the previous reading to mean that I have to speak up to him directly (which was completely impossible in my eyes to do) and it’s saying that I do not need to do that. We were on the wrong path to begin with and that he has his own issues and to keep working on my own issues. Return to my own sincerity, acceptance, modesty and not to approach him. Its saying we spent a lot of time & energy focusing on pointing at each other’s wrong-doings rather than realize that we each played a part and to focus on honest sincerity and always being mindful that it takes 2 to tango.
Who are we? What are we doing here? What is the meaning of life? Penny is a truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper down the rabbit hole. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, whilst providing a searchable archive to easily lookup and reference.