Welcome to my musings & notes. I am interested in broadening my mind beyond what is known, and studying who and what we really are. Current phase seems to be transcribing channellings from various sources. Feel free to browse or use the search box for topics of your interest.
Home • [IChing] Intimacy with the wrong person (Part 1)
The IChing helped me to define “my part in the play” when it comes to people & relationships. Something that prior to finding the IChing, I had lived like “that’s how other people live, but that’s not me… I love everyone, I am ‘more’ loving, and this is what this planet needs, etc.” which kept getting me into trouble because that’s “not how other people live” and I thought that for me to navigate society, I had to turn off my love which I didn’t want to do because I ‘wanted’ to love everyone :)
So the IChing “pulled me back down to earth” when I was “flying too high” for the rest of society. It helped me with “ego issues” that I didn’t see within my own shadow.
This is some of the answers that helped me through a traumatic time a couple of years ago of “not understanding” why “others can be so cruel”, and understanding ‘my part’ in how things unfold – that both parties and their uniqueness results in how things play out. (note: that doesn’t mean that the other party didn’t make harmful and evil choices… just that.. the IChing helps you understand “your” part, so that you can “work on that within yourself” – to heal yourself & learn about how your interactions in the world, can pull in “what you don’t intend”, and clear up your old-thinking that is causing you harm/distress/trauma) which in turn helps you to navigate life with a little less trauma, and a little more responsibility, awareness of resulting causality. It helps you learn to take responsibility for your life, forgive yourself and others, and return to your authenticity (balance/inner peace).
I’m titling the blog posts as “Intimacy with the wrong person” but that is not necessarily true. There is no wrong. The dynamics of people we meet sometimes are traumatising to us because our collections of thoughts, expectations, perspectives differ and we feel ‘wronged’ or ‘harmed’ in the process. According to the law of one, relationship catalysts are there for the lessons we sought pre-incarnation and we excitedly signup for some heavy-shit while we’re on earth for the full human experience – that all experience is valuable, is part of the creator knowing the creator, and that nothing that eventuates is ‘wrong’, just as we go through experiences, we gain more experience and take that wisdom with us, a mistake is rather a lesson that we haven’t recognized yet and keep repeating until we learn. Everything is an opportunity to learn, grow, evolve and it’s our ego, pride, and perspective that deems experiences as good or bad. In any case, my lesson in this particular life-changing event, was living true to my integrity, thereby the title is an accurate “summary” for people who may come across these notes.
What am I not currently seeing in my own life? #21 > #3 4,5,6
You are being taught by punishment to have more appreciation for what you have taken for granted. Success comes from understanding what you did wrong. Cautious attitude is required to face a complex issue. Don’t push too hard or expect past solutions to work. Learn to walk the middle path between extremes. Learn to overcome judgements and not losing oneself while interacting with others.
Failing to take responsibility for why the situation has you stuck, inability to listen/grow = unwanted consequences.
You lack sufficient power and authority to bring about Reform. Your attempts meet with indifference, and you may feel humiliated at your ineffective actions. Yet Reform is necessary, and therefore your endeavours are justified.
How I interpreted/related: It was a wake-up call reading. I had to consider my part in it, that I had somehow caused it, or that I was humiliated because of something that needs to be reformed within me. It was bang-on about me “changing myself to please others – to be what they needed me to be”. That I was not living true but it was a mind-bending reading because at the time, I really thought I was living true and only in hindsight now do I realize just how far outside of my truth I was. I honestly couldn’t see what “I” had done to cause this and this reading was like forcing me to “go there”, go to the fear, face my own actions and transform that which was out of alignment.That my ego felt humiliated because… “I” felt ‘wrong’ about something I did (else – why would I feel humiliated at all, if I knew I was living true?).
Taking for granted is trusting #38
Everything we experience gives us an opportunity to learn and grow.
How I interpreted/related: I can’t remember what I meant when I made this statement, probably something to do with the fact that I was so trusting & absolutely taking for granted that nothing was out of sorts, that there was no ‘need’ to mistrust. But the answer back was helpful in that it made me realize that wherever we’re at in this game, whatever is going on, wherever we are located and whatever experience we are having, is an opportunity to level-up – that no matter how bad it seemed, how hopeless it was, that this was time to be a student and learn from it and become ‘better’ from the experience… somehow.
Do you have any advice on how I can best learn through what I have failed to recognize? #15
Humility. Stay modest. Don’t lose sight of what’s right.
How I interpreted/related: Facing my own ego. This was a huge “ego-shattering” experience for me, where everything I believed and trusted and thought was right in the world and about myself was turned upside-down. I was so certain that I understood life and how it worked and this was telling me “no” – you have ego issues. My over-confidence and unconditional love for all was ‘arrogance’. This was a humbling experience – horrible lol, but humbling all the same. I had to come back to earth and face myself. I had to live true to my values. There was nothing ‘modest’ about this experience, and it was trying to teach me that.
Does life punish you or do you punish yourself, how does that work?
There is something you are not seeing in this situation. An aura of deception surrounds you now. This could be in the form of a liar who is consciously attempting to slander you, or the deception could appear in a more subtle form such as self-deception. If you are tricking yourself or letting yourself be confused, you will need hard work to extricate yourself from problems. The basic difficulty is that lies and half truths will seem truer than reality, and you could find yourself in a serious position of disadvantage. If you are fortunate enough to find out where the dishonesty lies, attack the stronghold vigorously. If you are being wronged, work diligently to right yourself, and if you are deceiving yourself, don’t hesitate to own up to your shortcomings. Expect difficult beginnings which eventually clear up for you.
Control your temper and develop balance in all things. When you defend yourself, don’t be spiteful or vengeful. Be clear and fair while using your strength in a modest way. If you are innocent, you are safe even if falsely confined.
The way to harmony and unity is blocked, thwarted, or frustrated by dishonesty and deceit. Confront and resolve such situations quickly, firmly, fairly, and legally if necessary.
Improvement is achieved either by splitting apart or becoming closer.
How I interpreted/related: Here I was trying to figure out whether I was doing this to myself or whether ‘life’ was punishing me with some kind of negative-karma. First it helped me take off my rose-coloured glasses – where I was seeing everyone as innocent and made me face-up to the fact that just because I “want” and “believe” everyone is good underneath that doesn’t mean it’s so. At the time I was getting conflicting visions/dreams (dreams telling me to trust/help, visions telling me what he was really up to, but that was so shameful that I ‘chose’ the dreams over the visions because that’s the reality I wanted to believe). I was deceiving myself. I was being wronged and refused to believe that he would do that, and I was also deceiving myself and not facing my own issues in the situation. He wasn’t being honest and neither was I.
Because of the age difference, I was in the wrong 100%? #53 > #10 1,2,3,4,5
The danger is owing to no fault of hers in the matter of what is right. At the outset, the young man begins to make his way in the world. He is subjected to criticisms because his inexperienced steps are slow and hesitant. These will help prevent future errors on his part.
Inexperience with new concepts necessitates careful differentiation of all the factors involved.
The man soon overcomes his initial insecurity. He acquires a good position, earns a reasonable livelihood, and enjoys the company of his comrades.
The man goes too far and plunges into struggles beyond what is required by the natural laws of development. He loses his way. His life and family are jeopardized. If you provoke a conflict or make a bold and forceful advance, you will place yourself and those close to you in danger. This is a foolish risk indeed. You would be much wiser to allow things to develop naturally and, instead, secure what you have.
Adapt to circumstances.
Line five is a dynamic line in the ruler’s seat, and yet appears here as the symbol of a wife. Somehow she has been at variance with, and kept in disgrace by, calumniating enemies such as the plunderers of line three; but things come right in the end.
As you gain an ever greater position of influence, you become more and more a target for attack. Deceitful people may slander you, or you may even be misjudged by those closest to you. Because you are isolated, nothing meaningful can be accomplished. Eventually communications will be established and good fortune will follow.
How I interpreted/related: I was older so I thought – maybe I should’ve known better, trying to figure out “how I was in the wrong”, trying to face where I went astray. It helped me recognize that this was a new situation for both of us, and that I had never been in a situation like this before and I had never ‘been’ that way before – this was a whole new aspect of me that I had never explored and that I was inexperienced when it came to dealing with this new situation. That I wasn’t taking time to consider all dynamics at play because I thought that my role was just to help him and love him through the stress he was going through; not realizing that I was also going through a trauma of my own because of all that came up. He was going through a highly stressful period in his life too and was struggling himself to deal with everything going on in his own life, let alone our connection. It was a wakeup call to the fact that neither of us were “allowing things to develop naturally” and it was a confusing/stressful time for both, and that what I did was seen as disgraceful and forceful in his eyes even though I was following his lead on the situation, as I didn’t act ‘according to social norms’ because it wasn’t a normal situation – I was on a mission to help him. Definitely can see the hindsight lesson here that I have learnt from and applied & integrated into my life since.
What do I most need to know? #8
Be true and sincere with others.
#38 > #54 6
There are no enemies, only love. The steps to union can only be achieved by allowing uniqueness, opposition, and then acceptance to flow in it’s natural cycle. Authenticity is not sacrificed so that deeper affection can grow.
How I interpreted/related: That if I had stayed true to my own sincerity (when I was scared shitless), that things would’ve been better, but my ego didn’t want to believe that I was struggling, even though I was full of fear most of the time – I saw it as an opportunity to face my fears and pushed through the force-field that was trying to hold me back. That neither of us were being true and sincere to ourselves as we were adapting to our crisis’s. To be authentic, that it’s ok to live true to you and it’s ok that both are different. I changed myself to match his values & fantasies to get ‘his approval’ and for him to like me.
Do we still have more karmic stuff? #60 > #3 2
You must decisively take advantage of an outward opportunity. The days behind may have caused you to mistrust your own judgement, but you’ve got to believe in your inner voice. Your intuition tells you to move with the time and it struggles with the mind’s preconceptions. Remember, the mind serves the heart. Instead of letting the mind construct limitations, put it to work on the opportunity right in front of you. If you feel tentative and divided, move! Your Tao is motion and progress.
How I interpreted/related: I completely stopped trusting my own intuition because afterall, it was what led me into the fire to begin with. Here the IChing is trying to get me to realize that I did have reliable intuition – I was just misinterpreting it (that I was ready to face my fears, that everything was coming up for me to work on) and “going against” my own gut that was telling me “stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop”.
Where is my guilt located? #48
Deep fears we would rather not face.
How I interpreted/related: That I had a corrupted hard drive. That my suppression of all my past-fears and traumas had led to this moment. That there were deep fears within that I would need to uncover and heal.
How can I learn to access (& work on the guilt) and is it in my best interest to do so? #59 > #29 6
The fear of loss and the pain of being misunderstood is what we defend. Seek to understand rather than seek to be understood. Listening is more important than defending a position. Relinquish control.
How I interpreted/related: I wrote journals upon journals of “my version”, which was so completely different than “society’s” version. Here it’s telling me to try and see it from his point of view so that I can get to the root of the problem.
What has sex got to do with the well? #45 > #12 6
Sometimes your actions are so straightforward that they are misunderstood. People are used to complicated psychological games in their interpersonal relationships and come to expect them from everyone. Your simple expression of feeling has backfired on you and fate has you the target of negative feelings.
You are experiencing undeserved hassles and your feelings are hurt. Let yourself express your pain naturally-you aren’t made of stone with an image to protect.
You will find that the vulnerability you show now will do no more to attract people to you than your original straightforward expression. Your sensitivity is as natural and necessary as the rain.
How I interpreted/related: That we had sex so quickly when normally there is a waiting period as you get to know each other and figure out whether you’re on the same page. We didn’t go that path. We went with spontaneous fun. That I was living from the point of view of someone who has died and been re-born into a world of infinite potential, surrendering to life, to living for the day (I was still in the mindset of not knowing how much time we have to live, only recently miraculously healing myself, and to seize the opportunities – seize the day, to stop being guided by society’s rules and to do what feels right/good in the moment). Even though I had fears and doubts, I also had excitement and love for all, and wanted to live “rule-free”. Most people are used to mind-games and that ‘dance’ people do at the start. I didn’t do that, I was “loving all” and living from the heart. I just expressed what I thought was my truth at the time. It’s saying that my particular approach was not understood by him, that he took it a different way because that’s not how ‘normal’ people are. And that approach made him see me in a negative way that hurt my feelings and caused deep pain to come up, embarrassment, shame, humiliation. And yet my ego was also still trying to be the “2nd chance in the world” way – the rule-free, care-free way, and rid of the insecurities I was feeling.
Perhaps you have given another the unjustified power to validate your worthiness. Find root of this desire and fulfill. There is a good chance that you have the blind “wants.” You may even be resentful of others you should be sorry for. They are greedier than you, and, what’s more, they will recognize your greed and you will be unmasked in all your foolishness. Realize that no good can come from all this public “hunger.” If you truly need something, go inside yourself to your source and balance your forces. This is more effective route to your solutions.
You are an unusual person whose life is a puzzlement mostly to yourself. People help you at every turn and this appears beneficial on the outside. Think as to whether you have withdrawn from the world in some way in order to feed your hunger for eccentricity.
Don’t fall for the lure of luck-it will be sweet and bitter, and understanding will aid you more than emotion or reaction. Don’t let what is given take away your ability to uplift yourself. No one can do it for you now except yourself. Pull your physical and spiritual selves together from the inside and get on with your life.
You are not tending properly to your own nourishment-whether it be physical or spiritual. You have got an idea which is depriving you of the growth you desperately need. The world and its illusory tricks has temporarily taken over your direction and a long cycle of repercussions is inevitable. Whatever teaches and advises you must be examined carefully because everything in this world is of this world and cannot absolutely guide your thinking-look carefully; you will regret errors you are making at this time.
How I interpreted/related: That I changed myself to get him on side. That I was needing him to approve of me because I had changed, had lost weight, healed myself (extremely healthy and vibrant), felt confident, high on life, ready to teach everything I had learnt and this ‘new’ me, needed validation that I was now ‘desirable’. I also saw everyone as innocent and as a “soul” in a human body at that time, and that ‘behind everyone’s mask to the world, they are just like me – a higher-soul having an earth-experience’. It’s saying that I should never seek validation from others – that unworthiness feelings are from within and need to be uncovered and worked on, so that I’m coming to the table with a full-bowl – complete & whole – with lots to offer, instead an empty-bowl ‘needing’ something from them. I was also addicted to conspiracy theories and ‘out of the box’ thinking. And it called me out on that as well, forcing me to ask myself whether I was so “unique” because of a characteristic-flaw of “pushing people’s buttons” – being “different” because of the high it gave me to ‘shock’ others. I was going through some kind of psychosis where I didn’t know what was real, my beliefs were being shattered, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. It was telling me to stop and I think by this time I had stopped but I was still cross-eyed not understanding what had happened. It was telling me to take proper care of myself.
Why couldn’t I see this before, what’s different? #20 > #8 6
Contemplation of the bigger picture allows you to see the effects you have on others. Unifying perspective as if there are no lines separating your thoughts from experience or the impact others have on you. Failure = stepping stone to success. Rare clarity comes now as you think deeply about your life. Beware of dangerous illusions and prejudices which could lead you onto an unproductive path. If you have a decision to make, step back and look at the whole flow of your life. A clear view of the past and mental picture of the future will suggest the best course for you to follow. Life is so much larger than the day-to-day ups and downs of a single life. Keep a good attitude for extra help.
You contemplate your own integrity without regard to the good or bad consequences your actions may have wrought. Stand or fall, you must be true to yourself.
How I interpreted/related: I didn’t understand anything, I was really confused in how things unfolded. I thought we were on the same page and then suddenly it was like falling down the rabbit hole straight into the depths of hell. It was guiding me to take a mountain-top view of the situation – to see how my being different impacts and affects others and that even though it failed, that there is still an opportunity to learn from it. It was telling me to dig deep into my own inner-truth and look at events in my own life and how that may of led to seeing the world from a muddy perspective. And to lighten up a bit. Then it was saying to contemplate my own integrity – if I had stayed true to my own sense of integrity, that it wouldn’t of unfolded the way it did, that it went awry because I went against my own soul to get external approval.
What I needed from him #37
Cultivate the acceptance, humility, modesty and gentleness to attract and develop healthy relationships. What are your values? Do you repress your true feelings? Do words mask your true identity? A solid life must have a strong foundation composed of truth & balance. We turn off our inner voice and manipulate the outer world to suit our supposed needs. The heart will prompt action. The cycle of empty desires will be broken at last. Your life will be a challenge for those who feel torn between the way things seem to be and the way things could be. As we move from neediness, we discover what we are seeking is actually our gift to give. Liberation is only a response when a situation becomes like a prison. The situation has or will achieve stability as long as everyone is free to have their needs met.
How I interpreted/related: That I was imbalanced & needy (needed him to accept & validate me), and that I was not allowing him to feel free. That I definitely repressed my true feelings to please him. That I spoke words of my teachings rather than speak my truth of ‘not there yet’ / vulnerabilities. That what I “needed” from him was his acceptance of me, validation of my ‘new me’ (and it’s telling me that’s not healthy lol – to get stability and have a strong foundation from within)
How do I best approach this? #40 > #24 1,2,4
No error has occurred and nobody is to blame. Let it go and return a sense of freedom of movement to the situation. Uncover the truth to clear the way. If others are not demonstrating the same level of integrity as you, it may be time to move on.
There has been no mistake. You are not at fault.
The situation may be in the hands of inferior individuals who use unworthy methods to influence those in authority. You must now be particularly straightforward and virtuous while discrediting their efforts. Good fortune.
Balanced insight into the situation differentiates and eliminates harmful elements.
Bull’s-eye! – your suspicions are confirmed.
Free yourself from this useless dependence. A new and trustworthy companion will appear.
How I interpreted/related: It’s saying to stop trying to approach this at all – to let it go and not to feel guilty about it. That he was living in from a different level of integrity than me, and that I should get back to my own virtue / my own level. That my visions were correct (rather than my dreams), that he is not trustworthy, and to free myself and move on.
Conflict – Folly #6 >#4 4,5
One cannot win this conflict. Things go well by going on peacefully. A return to your centre is necessary. Forget ‘why’ and replace with ‘acceptance’. Greater opportunities by letting this go. There is a need to state your argument clearly without emotion to achieve success. This last step is required.
Line Four: Realizing the very root of conflict lies within his own heart, he lays down his arms and resolves to accept the things he cannot change.
Line Five: Bring the conflict before a just authority. If you are truly in the right, justice will bring good fortune.
How I interpreted/related: I love how I wrote conflict – folly and the IChing answered with exactly that (#6 conflict > #4 Youthful Folly). It’s saying I can’t win this, that I need to accept it and let it go. It’s also interpreting the “secret” things that he shared with me as something that I should go to the authorities about (however I did not).
How do I be open to “receiving” love?
#8 > #23 5,6
Be sincere. When you are comfortable and secure in who you are, you have no need to hunt and capture followers. Your purity and strength is a magnet that pulls others to you.
Fear of intimacy. If union is elusive explore your mindset.
In seeking allegiance with others, leave room for them to say “no”; this way, those choosing to join you will be sincere.
Line 5 Extra commentary:
Siu: The superior ruler accepts those who voluntarily come to him and lets others go who care to go. He neither invites nor flatters. Union is based on mutual confidence and appreciation.
Wing: You can trust fate at this time to bring you together with those who would further you. There is a natural attraction at work here. The atmosphere is liberal, and much can be accomplished. The time is auspicious, indeed.
Line 6 Extra commentary:
Legge: The sixth line, magnetic, shows one seeking union and attachment without having taken the first step to such an end. There will be evil.
Legge: The magnetic sixth line is trying to promote union with the lines below after the time for union has passed. It is too late — she is symbolized as “without a head,” that is, as not having taken the first step, from which her action should begin and go on to completion.
Wing: The moment for Unity has passed. Right from the beginning something was amiss and all attempts toward union inspired failure. Examine the situation to determine the extent of your error.
How I interpreted/related: That if you are secure in yourself, you have no ‘neediness’ for others to love you, that they will be attracted naturally when you’ve got you’re shit together. It’s also bringing up the fear I had about ever trusting again and being intimate with anyone that it’s something I need to explore within. And, it’s saying that my pushing to help him was making him feel like he was trapped or ‘less than’. And, that there is no hope of seeking union again, that it wasn’t right to begin with.
How do I get over my ‘fear of intimacy’? #57 >#48 6
By looking too deeply at the situation or sacrificing too much, you can lose your identity.. and your power. Confused thinking or compulsive speculation cripples intuition.
The wind dies beneath the bed. All courage to persevere is gone. Resources are depleted, defences are down. To move ahead with this course would prove disastrous.
Wu: He has reached his limit. It is definitely foreboding.
Anthony: Sometimes a diligent search for the hidden enemy reveals nothing specific. In getting this line, we should let go of the search.
Siu: The man appreciates the underlying problem and traces the injurious influence to its ultimate origin. However, he lacks the power to overcome it and is hurt in the process.
Wing: By attempting to penetrate all the myriad possibilities of the situation, you have dissipated the energy to influence. Great understanding means little without decisive action. Negativity can no longer be prevented.
Editor: The line implies that you are asking questions beyond your capacity to understand; or you are asking the wrong questions; or the oracle is tired of your importunate questioning entirely: the “gentle penetration is being carried to excess.”
How I interpreted/related: It’s basically saying to deal with my past, to find the root-cause of my issues and by giving away my power, I have left myself lifeless in that department – that I’ve sacrificed my own identity. I went against my soul and it’s going to take time to unravel. It’s also saying to stop compulsively seeking to fix this at the moment when I’m still in a state of confusion, because my mind is already in ‘excess’ and I need to take a step back from focusing on this for the time-being.
What are the things that are secrets / not revealed that I need to know about my situation?
Be careful not to step on other’s toes / offend. Walking on eggshells. Feeling in an environment of heavy judgement and criticism. Each day a piece of the puzzle, a gift that will unmask your character and reveal your destiny. Act with dignity. Become fearlessly yourself. Helps identify the part you play in hitting walls. Sometimes you look at the people and situations of the world as troublesome and nerve-wracking, and to you they are at times. Best to realize that this is your karma, and not necessarily everyone or anyone else’s. Do what you feel important with style and concentration, and treat the worrisome entanglements you seek to avoid with good will. This distinguishes you from the masses of people who do not try to find their own way and become progressively more self-destructive and angry as time goes by. Show that your values are not born out of egotism, but from a personal vision which you hope will help you through life. If you can view life as treading the tiger’s tail, yet still experience the unexpected subtleties all around you with a feeling of quiet joy and freshness, there will be no need to be dragged down by the guilt and frustration of others. No need to rush. Slow down. Gain greater clarity about your enquiry rather than ask so many questions.
How I interpreted/related: It’s saying that if you feel like you are walking on eggshells with someone – that something is not in alignment. To act with dignity rather than try and constantly help him (when he’s not even asking for help). That my ‘seeing him as needing help’ was making him feel powerless and his own ego felt threatened by me, and that my world-view may not be their world-view – that we each have different perspectives of situations. That I need to gain clarity, that it’s ok to have a personal vision and values for the betterment of my life & the world, but not to ‘impose’ my vision/values onto others as it comes across as egoic and arrogant.
We both needed to face our wounds
#38 > #41 4
You find someone in which you share an intimate connection. The opposition and isolation was necessary to open you to this new connection which can lead to a great accomplishment. You have a great many acquaintances, but few people, if any, know the real secrets of your heart. You don’t naturally unite on a deep level with most people because you feel your basic perception of life is different from theirs. You feel others are “owned by the world,” meaning they have completely adopted the social values of the culture. You have found that many people don’t really care what is inside a person.
You go your own way and keep things to yourself. This gives a sense of freedom, but also loneliness. Now you meet someone who is like you, who seems to feel similarly about the world. This person helps you unearth and express long pent-up feelings which teach you important things about yourself.
Resolving to stand alone in his beliefs if he must, he is immediately joined by a kindred spirit.
How I interpreted/related: Realizing that we had been attracted to each other at a time of stress and chaos, I thought that maybe life had drawn us together for specific lessons / overcoming fear and healing wounds. I cared very much what was “inside” a person rather than the social mask and was always trying to draw more out of him that can help him heal. Both of us got to reveal deep wounds and express pent-up past issues. I did feel free but also lonely that noone could join me in this freedom and meeting him brought out things that would definitely teach me important things about myself. Not sure if I can ever verify if it did the same for him, even though it’s suggesting that’s the case in this answer.
What did he get out of it? #39
Union should not come at the expense of giving up your individuality. Roots in your judgements of others. Become accepting of new or different perspectives. Honour the evolutionary tension that keeps all life evolving. Show your real face. Everything we experience gives us an opportunity to learn and grow but we must be willing to scratch beneath the surface. Your unique perspective and authentic nature should not be sacrificed for union. Everyone is allowed to be themselves.
How I interpreted/related: I guess it’s saying that he got to see how judgemental he was of others and to be more accepting of other people’s points of views. To stop putting on a mask to please his friends and family – to speak his truth. To not live so superficially. And that his authentic nature shouldn’t be sacrificed for others. To allow everyone to feel free to be themselves.
What action will I need to take within the next few weeks? #50 > #30 1,2
Cleanse yourself of past or all things that hamper your forward movement. Begin with a fresh perspective. The travellers is the ultimate hero on a solo journey of self-discovery. Follow your heart and don’t allow conformity to cast a shadow over your spirit. You are able to achieve your aims and stay true to your life path. Valuable spiritual lesson mastered.
Line One: Tip over the caldron and get rid of its stagnant contents once and for all.
Line Two: Your caldron contains a hearty meal with plenty to go around. Your rivals are jealous of your ability to provide, but they can’t harm you. Good fortune.
How I interpreted/related: That this is an opportunity to do a massive ‘cleanup’ of past/wrong thinking, to really discern my values and beliefs and upgrade my hard drive to new software, and that from this experience, I will eventually be able to help others.
What best to focus on for deeper intimacy / personal transformation? #1 > #54 3,5,6
Remove doubt and insecurity. There is no question that there is danger around. This will be a time when there will be temptations for you to say too much. You should think this over because it is also likely that you will be swept up in other’s problems; they will become your problems. Hard work outside and an increasing quest for peace inside is the order of the day. You have got quite a bit together, but be sensitive to and guard against burnout. This is a good time to go your own way.
Remember, you are treading the tiger’s tail. There will be trouble and all the plans and strategies you have developed should be put to use to your advantage. Be prepared for hassles and keep a light touch about your affairs.
Inner and outer strength can join for you. You will have to see through many veils now. There is a veil over your own mind which causes you to overreact defensively to many situations. In this case, you miscalculated the character of someone you will later find is a close companion to you. Oddly enough, that you will make this mistake is a positive sign that you are moving in your Tao. Now is a very good time to adhere to your source of inspiration.
Prayers and psychic insight will help decipher the confusing events of the days ahead. You achieve union with yourself now, and that influences all your other relationships.
Line Three: The Superior Person builds by day and remains vigilant through the night. Danger, but he will persevere.
Line Five: The dragon rises high for all to see. He has become the mentor he always longed to find.
How I interpreted/related: Time to do the inner-work rather than focusing on helping others or rectifying the situation. That there is definitely going to be trouble from this, and to withdraw from fixing it, to work on correcting my own inner-strength, vulnerabilities and weaknesses. To stay out of the limelight for the moment and to persevere and be vigilant through my own self-work. It’s also letting me know that my beliefs are cloudy right now, so I have to be more aware of my ego’s defences, and to go within, meditate, listen to my intuition with discernment, and not get too ahead of myself – that it’s not going to be an overnight-fix.
#20 > #33 3,4
In a past situation, one examines the truth of what transpired and comes to understand why things unfold the way they do. Beyond purely selfish motives, you observe how your actions influence others. You may need to sacrifice for the benefit of the team beyond selfish aims.
How I interpreted/related: That I sacrificed “my version”, “my identity”, my “reputation to the world” and my “heart” for “team-humanity”. That my experiment with life had very very negative consequences and that I would suck it up to a lesson, to learn from the experience and see how life ‘dances’ through each choice-point that we make.
So my sacrifice is to withdraw completely
#10 > #37 2,3,4
Perseverance of the dark man brings good fortune. Any breakthrough in enlightenment is usually followed by an encounter with the Shadow. Allow it to be expressed and give it a home.
Something is still unknown in the situation, so you might need to look deeper. Study/explore.
All obstacles that you face become opportunities for further insight into your purpose in life.
It is your integrity, commitment to truth, mixed with cautiousness that allows you to succeed.
Synchronicity reveals the dissolving of barrier between “in here” and “out there”. Overcome fear and you will succeed.
How I interpreted/related: It’s encouraging me to face my shadow. To seek internally what needs to be worked on. This is my Dark Night of the Soul period. It’s saying that I don’t have the full picture yet so there is more to be revealed, but that this is giving me an opportunity to get further insight into my purpose in life. It’s suggesting that I look at my integrity, and my beliefs, and yet to still have discernment. And it’s encouraging me to become aware of synchronistic events.
What’s blocking my progress? #11 > #26 6
There are some hassles coming our way. Peace is finished. Old ideas and feelings have given way to a new time in which you will be the centre of some negative attention-remember not to fight the new threats with your old strengths, they will only work against you now. You have earned this problem with some old, unfinished point of karma-so develop your equanimity and put up your psychological umbrella. Learn to love the rain.
Line Six extra commentary:
Line Six: The wall crumbles into the moat. Such overfortification and defensiveness will cause you more loss than if you had remained totally exposed and had opened your arms to fate.
Wing: A decline has begun. It is of the external world, and nothing can be done to hold it back. Such attempts will bring you humiliation. Instead, devote your time to strengthening your ties with those close to you.
A distinction is dissolved, a belief is shattered. Don’t fight it — let it be. Change is in process and confusion prevails — control your emotions and maintain order within the psyche. Despite turmoil, take no action — allow the transformation to complete itself.
How I interpreted/related: That the gossip, rumours, and all the negative consequences of this situation are ripe right now and to try and take it on the chin, ignore it and not fight it. That the damage is in full force right now and that getting defensive or trying to let anyone know my side will only make it worse and expose me to even more trouble and humiliation. It’s telling me to find allies through this because there are a lot of opposition. And that my beliefs are being shattered but that change is ultimately good because it’s all part of the transformation (levelling-up) process.
Is there a way to avoid the humiliation yet still complete the transformation?
#11 > #26 6 (Got identical answer as above)
How I interpreted/related: “Nope”. Or rather, that it’s not about avoiding humiliation, and to just accept that it is what it is and do the work to get through the transformation.
What is the lesson I need to learn?
#6 > #56 2,3,5
Good sense is your saviour. A transformation is necessary. Your competitive and argumentative side must give way to a healthier, more accepting mind-set. Rise above the clamour of the masses and show good will to all those who touch you. Retreat, survive, and go beyond the disruptions of the time.
Your world will move and flow more smoothly if you let all things go their own way. You are fortunate now, not because you are richest or most fashionable, but because there is something inside you which is exclusively yours-a positive personality, good values, and humility put you ahead of the rest who compete for smaller prizes. Relax and wait for your fortune and luck to guide the way. The right person is on the scene. It could be you are called upon to solve a problem between friends, or this person could be someone you know who has the power to help you. Get out some things you’ve been holding inside and you’ll see who really cares about you. If you have followed through in your beliefs, fortune will now run in your favour.
Line Two: Knowing his comrades would be annihilated against their much stronger foe, he orders a full retreat, retires into seclusion, and is condemned by the very neighbours he saved from ruin.
Line Three: He stands on his integrity, no matter what ill winds may blast him. Stand or fall, in the end he will remain exactly who he is.
Line Five: Bring the conflict before a just authority. If you are truly in the right, justice will bring good fortune.
How I interpreted/related: It’s saying that this transformation was needed anyway – that my hard drive was full of corrupted old-data that needed an upgrade. It will go a lot more smoothly if I can accept it because the hostile forces/situation is way stronger than I am at the moment, and that even friends/people I trust are also condemning me. To stay true to my own integrity, and to take the secrets to the authorities. (No, I didn’t listen to any of this at the time, only in hindsight can I see how appropriate and spot on this advice was.)
He will humiliate me
#1 > #19 3 4 5 6
There is no question that there is danger around. This will be a time when there will be temptations for you to say too much. You should think this over because it is also likely that you will be swept up in other’s problems; they will become your problems. Hard work outside and an increasing quest for peace inside is the order of the day. You have got quite a bit together, but be sensitive to and guard against burnout. This is a good time to go your own way.
The crossroads have been reached. All your preparation and action has led to this point and now your inner voice decides the way. Circumstances will pull you and currents will sweep you, but in the end your destiny will find you. From this day forward you will find a new life. There may be strain outside, but the peace will flow inside.
You are riding the crest of fate and fortune right now. Many of the personal goals you set long ago have come about and your character is recognized by all who know you. When the spirit prompts you to action now, you have a definite aura of magic about you. You’ve seen hard work and hard roads, but this time is yours.
You have held too much negative inside and now it bursts forth like a spring flood. Be careful not to assume too much and try to mould the world into your own shape.
How I interpreted/related: Yes, he will humiliate you. And that my ego may be tempted to correct the rumours but that I’m heading for a total burnout if I don’t get in touch with my inner-peace instead. That I had been carrying around a lot of negative turbulance, and it’s time to let it go. That once I get through this passage, people will see the truth of my character and to trust my spiritual side, and my inner voice, even whilst going through the strain of other people’s wrong-views and them not knowing about the totality of the seriousness of the situation & that they wouldn’t understand anyway because I took a path of sacrifice that noone else would’ve taken, based on my own interpretation of my own soul’s guidance, and it’s time to go my own way.
Him #36 > #46 1 2
Be humble and moderate, yet authentic. Turning adversity into opportunity to learn. We forget our suffering when in the service of others and are therefore healed ourselves.
How I interpreted/related: It’s reiterating seeing this as an opportunity to learn, be authentic, keep my modesty, stay humble, and to turn my awareness towards a more helpful/understanding point of view rather than feeling darkness from him.
Anything else I need to know about this?
#10 > #6 1
Don’t be angry at others to vindicate yourself. Conflict has one purpose, to transform you. Just go your way.
How I interpreted/related: Again it’s saying that even though I’m angry with him for betraying my trust, that it’s all about transformation – to move on from angst.
Forgive, let go, and I can move on? #52 > #31 4 5 6
The stillness and calm you have been needing is very close. You are able to hold back negative and aggressive feelings, but you aren’t happy. Questions, worries, and doubts fall on your heart like rain, and even though you are easy to get along with, others are not, and their unrefined actions upset you. You are not comforted by anything except the inner knowledge that you are doing the only possible thing you can by dedicatedly relaxing your body and mind. That is building for your future.
This is a time to watch your own behaviour. If your outward face is too carefree or glib, then it is a sign that you are troubled inside. Charm and humour can’t dispel the difficulties and pressures around you. All you have to express your true thoughts to the world is words. Words sometimes have nearly magical and effective, if you choose them carefully. In fact, the more energy you put into disciplining your verbal expression, the more good you will generate for yourself and others.
It has finally fallen together for you. Long lines of luck from your past have converged in your life now. Hard battles and doubts seem distant as you enjoy the moment’s calm. Your willpower can breathe easier for a time, having given so great an effort of late. Look about you. See the world for what it is-look clearly and objectively. Feel the sadness and hope, and look for your place in the time passages. Inside your heart is a song. Let life reveal itself in music and harmony-realize that it comes from inside you.
Line 4 Extra Commentary:
Siu: The man forgets his ego. This leads to the highest state of rest.
Wing: Your frame of mind is conducive to self-mastery. You have only to transcend the impulses of your ego to achieve the ideal of Meditation.
Editor: Siu’s paraphrase combined with Legge’s commentary, implies that the situation requires total non-action in the physical, emotional and mental realms of the psyche. This of course is the ideal of almost all forms of meditation.
Line 5 Extra Commentary:
Siu: The man is judicious in his choice of words. He thereby eliminates occasions for regret.
Wing: Once you have centred yourself, your words will be chosen more carefully, and outspoken or unthinking comments will be avoided. In this way you will no longer suffer shame or regret.
Line 6 Extra Commentary:
Siu: The man attains tranquillity in relation to life in its entirety.
Wing: When your inner composure can reach even beyond the situation into all aspects of your life, you can penetrate the true meaning of things. From this perspective comes great good fortune.
How I interpreted/related: Walking around in misery and unable to forgive him yet knowing that I need to for my own sanity. That was a hard period to get through. Trying to forgive the unforgivable whilst also trying to see ‘my part in the play’, and take responsibility for my own part in it, even though I was so angry and upset with his betrayal. It’s also calling me out on what I used to do to deal with it… which was “pretend everything is great, happy” and put on the fake, happy mask even though I was dying inside. And then when I couldn’t put on the mask, I would be in deep despair and sorrow and victim-mode. It’s saying it’s time to be a master of myself and to forget my ego – to not focus on the loss of reputation/face to the world, to watch my words (when I was just saying god knows what because my mind was so cross-eyed) and to find my peace by meditating and getting centred and that once I do, I will get clarity.
What does “HE” most need to know? #32 > #59 3 4 5 6
If you use psychological turmoil as an excuse to hurt yourself and others, then you are treading a path of increasing darkness. No matter what strange forces tug at your heart, you’ve got to remember who you are and why you came to this life. You have always felt the lack of material roots to make you emotionally secure, yet you might toss away something irreplaceable impulsively and wastefully. Don’t do it. Remember who loves you.
How I interpreted/related: That his ‘games’ with other people’s lives is hurting them and is sending him into a pit of darkness. To see life not from a selfish ‘throw-away’ point of view but to find more meaning in life. To remember who you are and why you came here.
Who are we? What are we doing here? What is the meaning of life? Penny is a truth-seeker, ever-questioning, ever-learning, ever-researching, ever delving further and deeper down the rabbit hole. This site is a legacy of sorts, a place to collect thoughts, notes, book summaries, whilst providing a searchable archive to easily lookup and reference.